First I'd like to apologize that I couldn't post for a week, I'm hoping for a daily writing but at the moment, I'm just busy with trivial things. Yes, I admit it, things I'm doing so far are very trivial, I guess all of it, doesn't it? I'm writing as if this were all important, I'm staying a place that I can go out anytime but my comfort zone is just caging me. All of these are all unimportant. I know it's a bit sad, and a bit betraying but that's how I feel. I'm an apprentice of words and dreams but after all this time, I'm not... I'm still here.
I guess, it's a failure of my own. But, it's just that I feel, none of this all are worth it. Are what I'm writing even worth reading? Heck, no one is reading any of this... My eyes are just those that read these posts. I feel not sad though, it was worse than my previous ones. Have I gone numb to this?
deus ex machina...
It's amazing how fortune suddenly kissed me on my cheek, right when I was typing this, a certain video appears in youtube, so I played it. It suddenly reminded me of what I was back when I was still passionate in writing. It was of a girl, she was a painter of some sort, she sketches stuff and the thing magically about this video is she gives life anew to what she is copying and the person she sketched felt her drawing. It was phenomenal. She isn't merely some random painter, she is a creator of new dream, an author. She's playing god but it wasn't to be one, but to give life anew, to give a different color. Some just daydream I guess, or perhaps just some mental disorder, but whatever, she was happy.
Being immerse in reality killed my enthusiasm, I think or perhaps...
... I guess I'm just confused of what I'm supposed to do currently. My cousin was asking me to continue the game I made, he asked me to make items, equipment and whatnots. Odd enough, I taught the kid how to imagine... guess that's part of the reward. I'm happy about it.
