I'm busy with my clan in the online game I'm playing in. We're doing great there, a few setbacks and delays but we're moving forward. Clan is like a little club, a party, of different people. It's funny how we casually interact with others, at least how I do, even though we haven't met each other IRL. I wonder if we'll be the same casual talkers when we meet IRL though.
Other than that, I'm making a game, sort of an RPG only with pen and paper of course. I'm not a coder so tech and game making is waaaaaay out of my league. Well, this RPG i'm making is inspired by an RPG mobile game, Knights of Pen and Paper, played it for a while, had fun with it and finished it. If you'd see the game I made, I guess, it's not inspired, you could say it's a rip off of the game. Reason I'm making this is because I want to play with my cousin, the one I bet my phone with. I want him to enjoy a game without buying any toy or using gadget, just the old pen, paper and a bit of imagination.
Also, the game I made, I added a bit of something related to his school work, so perhaps I could help him with his study while enjoying it. Two birds with one stone, I guess.
What else... I'm also going to exercise again, yay me. It's already September and my friends from far away place will be coming over having a bit of a vacation and also working with me. It'll be fun, hopefully.
I also started watching a new anime... Smartphone guy in a magic world... on going series so I'm hopeful it'll be great even though it's a rip off of good animes. I'm almost done watching Assassination Classroom, it's kinda weird that I get the feeling that I must delay my self from finishing it. Or it's just normal. Oh, sensations of being a fan. I guess, that's I felt when I was reading a book or series of books that I didn't want to be finish already. Feels refreshing.
Guess that's it for now... about the Daedalus and Icarus... ... I'll continue writing it, but please be patient with me.
Thursday, August 31, 2017
Tuesday, August 29, 2017
Another random thought: Are you happy?
There's this co-worker of mine, I don't know much about him but to how his manner to and how he treats others, he's a good man. Thing is, I find him unhappy. Or at least, I find the situation he is in sad. But every time I see him at work, he has this smile that somehow denies my thought. He's a funny person, kind and respectful to others and is diligent in work. But to how he is treated by his wife, is the total opposite.
Well, if you've heard of battered wife, his a battered husband. We, his co-workers, have the same idea that there is no reason for him to stay with her. We are all baffled as to what he found in her. But he's the newest in our little circle so we have a bit of trouble communicating with him up in a personal serious talk.
I wanted to ask him if he is happy thought but I might offend him. About that, other than his good quality, he's a bit sensitive so I got to watch what I would want to say to him. But anyhow, I haven't yet asked him this question. By my guess, he'll just shrug my question with a joke. To be honest, my question is a very serious one and this co-worker of mine don't go with heavy flows.
Also, remember the game I talked about, The Legend of Mana, there is this one quest there, it's of four friends: One of them is a priestess, one is a warrior, one is the priestess's servant and one a demon. Long story short, the priestess is dying due to the fact that the demon has stolen her powers, and her friend, the servant came to my character asking to accompany her to one of the Wisdom for some advice.
We went to the Wisdom, the servant ask what to do, her friend is dying because a demon stole her power. The Wisdom answered, "Do what your friend asks you to do." The servant replied, she didn't asked me to do anything, she's just accepting what will happen to her. The Wisdom then said, that that is also what her friend wanted her to do, to accept what will happen. Of course being like a little sister to the priestess, she couldn't accept it fully but have conceded with the advice and implored no more. She gave me a ForbiddenRing as a reward though, a pretty neat ring.
Well, anyway, back to our dilemma, perhaps that's what our co-worker's decision, to accept what will happen. So we'll just have to accept it. Question now, does he already considers us friends or just co-workers?
Well, if you've heard of battered wife, his a battered husband. We, his co-workers, have the same idea that there is no reason for him to stay with her. We are all baffled as to what he found in her. But he's the newest in our little circle so we have a bit of trouble communicating with him up in a personal serious talk.
I wanted to ask him if he is happy thought but I might offend him. About that, other than his good quality, he's a bit sensitive so I got to watch what I would want to say to him. But anyhow, I haven't yet asked him this question. By my guess, he'll just shrug my question with a joke. To be honest, my question is a very serious one and this co-worker of mine don't go with heavy flows.
Also, remember the game I talked about, The Legend of Mana, there is this one quest there, it's of four friends: One of them is a priestess, one is a warrior, one is the priestess's servant and one a demon. Long story short, the priestess is dying due to the fact that the demon has stolen her powers, and her friend, the servant came to my character asking to accompany her to one of the Wisdom for some advice.
We went to the Wisdom, the servant ask what to do, her friend is dying because a demon stole her power. The Wisdom answered, "Do what your friend asks you to do." The servant replied, she didn't asked me to do anything, she's just accepting what will happen to her. The Wisdom then said, that that is also what her friend wanted her to do, to accept what will happen. Of course being like a little sister to the priestess, she couldn't accept it fully but have conceded with the advice and implored no more. She gave me a ForbiddenRing as a reward though, a pretty neat ring.
Well, anyway, back to our dilemma, perhaps that's what our co-worker's decision, to accept what will happen. So we'll just have to accept it. Question now, does he already considers us friends or just co-workers?
Saturday, August 26, 2017
Icarus's Memory: the mother bird
"Now tell me, Icarus. Do you how birds fly?" Icarus's mother asked.
"They flap their wings real hard so the wind accumulates and carry them," Icarus replied. "That's what master said in class."
"That is true, but that isn't the whole answer," her mother said. She patted him, a sign he did well. "There are other two answers: one, the wind, the sky and everything else that surrounds the bird understands him and himself understands them. Do you know how it works, Icarus?"
Icarus paused for a while, she couldn't understand what her mother is saying.
"Think of a person listen to a music, if he stands still or sit idly while listening, won't something be missing?" asked his mother. "Imagine it vividly, try to taste in your mind the alluring voice of most love tone. Won't you want to do something?"
"Dance?" Icarus answered.
"Exactly, it's an embodiment of harmony. And you won't be only moving in any manner. You will flow along the music's rhythm," explained his mother. "Now, do you now understand how the birds can fly?"
"No," Icarus answered honestly. "I don't understand it."
Her mother patted his head once again and smile.
"In time you'll understand it," she said.
"But what of the other answer? You did said there are two other answers, right?" Icarus asked. His eyes were brimming in glee. He does not understand any of what her mother is saying but he loves moment when they converse.
"Oh! Silly me, I almost forgot. The other answer is more concerned not on how a bird fly but on why. But I don't think you will understand it even if I tell it to you," she said.
"No, I'm going to understand it. Please tell me," he said.
"Well, it mostly concern the mother birds. When a mother bird feels her youngling is ready for the sky, she'll force him to leave. She'll even push them away from their tree top nest," her mother explained.
"But isn't that cruel?" asked Icarus aghast.
"Now, Icarus, don't think of it as cruelty. It is for her young one. In order for him to feel and understand the flight. The fear of height and getting injured on the way down, the audience leaves and branches that will watch and laught at the young one's decent and the exhilirating wind that tries hard to lift him up but may or may not fail in the end. All of which constitute in the bird's understanding of everything that surrounds him," her mother explained.
Of course, Icarus didn't understand any of it.
"But it is still cruel for her to abandon her child," Icarus sadly said. A sudden fear of abandon awoke in his mind.
"I didn't say that," she said.
"You said that she will push her child away?" Icarus asked, he was about to cry.
"No mother bird will ever abandon her young chick. If the mother bird feels something isn't right, she will immediately go to her young ones and carry them all back home to their tree top nest," she said and gave Icarus a hugged. "Up on their nest, the mother bird will give her child a big hug. She'll tell him that everything will be alright and her child could stay with her until they could finally learn to fly."
"Will you be like the mother bird?" Icarus asked.
"Of course, Icarus, I won't leave you," her mother said. Icarus tightened his hug on her.
"They flap their wings real hard so the wind accumulates and carry them," Icarus replied. "That's what master said in class."
"That is true, but that isn't the whole answer," her mother said. She patted him, a sign he did well. "There are other two answers: one, the wind, the sky and everything else that surrounds the bird understands him and himself understands them. Do you know how it works, Icarus?"
Icarus paused for a while, she couldn't understand what her mother is saying.
"Think of a person listen to a music, if he stands still or sit idly while listening, won't something be missing?" asked his mother. "Imagine it vividly, try to taste in your mind the alluring voice of most love tone. Won't you want to do something?"
"Dance?" Icarus answered.
"Exactly, it's an embodiment of harmony. And you won't be only moving in any manner. You will flow along the music's rhythm," explained his mother. "Now, do you now understand how the birds can fly?"
"No," Icarus answered honestly. "I don't understand it."
Her mother patted his head once again and smile.
"In time you'll understand it," she said.
"But what of the other answer? You did said there are two other answers, right?" Icarus asked. His eyes were brimming in glee. He does not understand any of what her mother is saying but he loves moment when they converse.
"Oh! Silly me, I almost forgot. The other answer is more concerned not on how a bird fly but on why. But I don't think you will understand it even if I tell it to you," she said.
"No, I'm going to understand it. Please tell me," he said.
"Well, it mostly concern the mother birds. When a mother bird feels her youngling is ready for the sky, she'll force him to leave. She'll even push them away from their tree top nest," her mother explained.
"But isn't that cruel?" asked Icarus aghast.
"Now, Icarus, don't think of it as cruelty. It is for her young one. In order for him to feel and understand the flight. The fear of height and getting injured on the way down, the audience leaves and branches that will watch and laught at the young one's decent and the exhilirating wind that tries hard to lift him up but may or may not fail in the end. All of which constitute in the bird's understanding of everything that surrounds him," her mother explained.
Of course, Icarus didn't understand any of it.
"But it is still cruel for her to abandon her child," Icarus sadly said. A sudden fear of abandon awoke in his mind.
"I didn't say that," she said.
"You said that she will push her child away?" Icarus asked, he was about to cry.
"No mother bird will ever abandon her young chick. If the mother bird feels something isn't right, she will immediately go to her young ones and carry them all back home to their tree top nest," she said and gave Icarus a hugged. "Up on their nest, the mother bird will give her child a big hug. She'll tell him that everything will be alright and her child could stay with her until they could finally learn to fly."
"Will you be like the mother bird?" Icarus asked.
"Of course, Icarus, I won't leave you," her mother said. Icarus tightened his hug on her.
Friday, August 25, 2017
Just a question: Will your past self believe in you?
Earlier, I asked my friends a question and things didn't go well. The question goes like this: If you're made to travel back in time and give your past self and advice, do you think your past self will believe you? One of them couldn't answer while another said that his past self will.
Thing is, the answer I'm looking for has a different meaning. The question I asked, in my intention, is like this, do you think your past self will be proud of what you are now? I told this to my friend with an answer, to this he got a mixed answer. He said his past self won't be too much proud of him but he still believe his past self will believe him. His explanation for the latter, it's he himself, so he knows who he is and that's why he'll believe in himself. Quite a messy explanation, don't you think? To shorten it, he has confidence in himself, both his past and his contemporary. That's a nice trait to have, by the way.
Alas, my follow up question comes. I asked him this, what if your future self, a person that is to your definition isn't doing good and you wouldn't want to be, he happens to be given a chance to also go back in time and talk to your right. He will give you advice to be like him. The question, will you believe and follow his advice? It's kind of sided thing but I don't know, I just want to know if the answer will be the same.
His answer changed to a no, though.
Now at this point, I wonder why I even asked the question. Won't it be clear that the answer will depend on the stature of the one giving the advice. Even I will answer no to my first question. Only people that can easily say yes to the answer will probably successful happy people and those who are confident enough to believe. These I know I am not.
Thing is, the answer I'm looking for has a different meaning. The question I asked, in my intention, is like this, do you think your past self will be proud of what you are now? I told this to my friend with an answer, to this he got a mixed answer. He said his past self won't be too much proud of him but he still believe his past self will believe him. His explanation for the latter, it's he himself, so he knows who he is and that's why he'll believe in himself. Quite a messy explanation, don't you think? To shorten it, he has confidence in himself, both his past and his contemporary. That's a nice trait to have, by the way.
Alas, my follow up question comes. I asked him this, what if your future self, a person that is to your definition isn't doing good and you wouldn't want to be, he happens to be given a chance to also go back in time and talk to your right. He will give you advice to be like him. The question, will you believe and follow his advice? It's kind of sided thing but I don't know, I just want to know if the answer will be the same.
His answer changed to a no, though.
Now at this point, I wonder why I even asked the question. Won't it be clear that the answer will depend on the stature of the one giving the advice. Even I will answer no to my first question. Only people that can easily say yes to the answer will probably successful happy people and those who are confident enough to believe. These I know I am not.
Wednesday, August 23, 2017
Can you not say the same: I will pray for you
Before I start, I want to confess that I went back to playing an old playstation 1 game that I have, Legend of Mana. It's quite refreshing going through all the quest, I forgot most of them, so I'm basically like scouring the net as well looking for guide of the hard parts.
Well, anyhow, I'm in a part of the game wherein a thing of the past, something that caused great calamity, is about to return. Of course, somebody stopped it, unfortunately, it wasn't me, the hero I'm playing, that did it. What happened next is a bit philosophical though.
Nunuzac, the one who stopped the coming of the calamity, was asked by a Wisdom, creatures renowned (for something? Their wisdom, power, dominance and whatsoever), namely Pokiehl, to be understanding and to give love. Nunuzak argued that if the calamity is to be let loose again, the extended time of peace will immediately end. That what he had stopped, captured mustn't be allowed to leave in a prison he made. To this, Pokiehl, replied, "whatever you do, even if you decide to destroy the world. I will pray for you."
I butchered narrating the plot, but that's the main gist of it, I think. You might find it weird why Pokiehl said "destroy the world," how can the person that saved everyone do that? Nunuzac is conjuror who participated in many wars in the olden times. His real body is trapped in a different dimension hence he is controlling a giant face wheel to communicate with others. He teaches in Geo's university of magic for those who aspire to become great magicians. (I got this from fandom wikia, so thanks to that)
Well, anyway, those words, "whatever you decide... I will pray for you." It sounds a bit mocking, or it might just be me. I don't know, it sounds bitter to me. But if you've read their whole conversation regarding giving love. To be honest, he didn't say give love but "Forgive Love," must be his, Pokiehl's understanding of Nunuzac.
These five words though, "I will pray for you." If you hear it with sincerity and if it's actual sincerity, I'd be grateful about it. Heck, soldiers or people who venture out for fortune most of the time say this to their love ones, "pray for me" or something like that. I don't know if it's common since I only know it's a cliche in movies and series.
But what if it doesn't have any sincerity to it? What if it's told mockingly? Well, going back to what the Wisdom Pokiehl said, forgive love, understand. Question isn't actually if I can say it, but will I forgive love and understand?
(What a crazy prose though...)
What does "forgive love" mean, anyhow? I know Pokiehl said it to Nunuzak because he also wanted, not the calamity to come but, for event to pass, to happen. He's a wisdom after all, so perhaps he has seen the ending of the game, has seen what will happen But back to the subject, what does it mean to "forgive love?"
To forgive is an act to done by a victim to a perpetrator. And love is something that is unseen but exists, so as what Pokeihl said to Nunuzac. Love, on the hand, can be defined as an understanding of something or someone. Can it be that what Pokeihl meant was to understand something and forgive it, only said more poetically? Or perhaps I'm just overthinking this...
(Again, what a crazy crazy prose this is, but so does all posts I have in herew)
Well, anyhow, I'm in a part of the game wherein a thing of the past, something that caused great calamity, is about to return. Of course, somebody stopped it, unfortunately, it wasn't me, the hero I'm playing, that did it. What happened next is a bit philosophical though.
Nunuzac, the one who stopped the coming of the calamity, was asked by a Wisdom, creatures renowned (for something? Their wisdom, power, dominance and whatsoever), namely Pokiehl, to be understanding and to give love. Nunuzak argued that if the calamity is to be let loose again, the extended time of peace will immediately end. That what he had stopped, captured mustn't be allowed to leave in a prison he made. To this, Pokiehl, replied, "whatever you do, even if you decide to destroy the world. I will pray for you."
I butchered narrating the plot, but that's the main gist of it, I think. You might find it weird why Pokiehl said "destroy the world," how can the person that saved everyone do that? Nunuzac is conjuror who participated in many wars in the olden times. His real body is trapped in a different dimension hence he is controlling a giant face wheel to communicate with others. He teaches in Geo's university of magic for those who aspire to become great magicians. (I got this from fandom wikia, so thanks to that)
Well, anyway, those words, "whatever you decide... I will pray for you." It sounds a bit mocking, or it might just be me. I don't know, it sounds bitter to me. But if you've read their whole conversation regarding giving love. To be honest, he didn't say give love but "Forgive Love," must be his, Pokiehl's understanding of Nunuzac.
These five words though, "I will pray for you." If you hear it with sincerity and if it's actual sincerity, I'd be grateful about it. Heck, soldiers or people who venture out for fortune most of the time say this to their love ones, "pray for me" or something like that. I don't know if it's common since I only know it's a cliche in movies and series.
But what if it doesn't have any sincerity to it? What if it's told mockingly? Well, going back to what the Wisdom Pokiehl said, forgive love, understand. Question isn't actually if I can say it, but will I forgive love and understand?
(What a crazy prose though...)
What does "forgive love" mean, anyhow? I know Pokiehl said it to Nunuzak because he also wanted, not the calamity to come but, for event to pass, to happen. He's a wisdom after all, so perhaps he has seen the ending of the game, has seen what will happen But back to the subject, what does it mean to "forgive love?"
To forgive is an act to done by a victim to a perpetrator. And love is something that is unseen but exists, so as what Pokeihl said to Nunuzac. Love, on the hand, can be defined as an understanding of something or someone. Can it be that what Pokeihl meant was to understand something and forgive it, only said more poetically? Or perhaps I'm just overthinking this...
(Again, what a crazy crazy prose this is, but so does all posts I have in herew)
Tuesday, August 22, 2017
Daedalus's Child: Icarus
"Say, Icarus." Daedalus spoke as he browsed through a portfolio. "Do you remember your mother?"
The breeze entered calmly through the window of their room. Strong summer winds started to take over the gentle spring time wind.
"I hate summer time," Icarus commented.
"Don't be, our freedom is soon. Remember, it'll be on summer when we leave of this place," Daedalus said. "So, Icarus, do you?"
"Do I what, father?" Icarus asked, smoothly appearing to have not heard the question.
"Do you remember your mother?" Daedalus reiterated.
"Hardly, I suppose." Icarus replied.
"We'll visit her first thing when we get out of here," Daedalus said basking in memories. "Do you know what I'm reading, Icarus?"
"What is it?" Icarus spoke carelessly. He was occupied in his thought of the sky that they will soon leave.
Icarus grew up in the tower. He liked the idea of leaving the place as was his father always wanted to do. But a part of him wanted to stay. He was content inside the tower.
Icarus have accepted King Minos, their captor. He couldn't careless if they were prisoners, they're fed three times daily, all their needs were given and most of their wishes were granted. With the exception of freedom. What more could they want? The scenery of the land is great in their vantage. So why ask for the greener pasture if they already got themselves in a better place?
"Icarus?" Daedalus asked again. He just noticed that his son was preoccupied, staring outside the tower. "I know, son, that you wanted to go outside. I am too. Just have patient. We will get out of here soon."
Icarus smiled at his father. He couldn't speak out what he had in mind. It was either out of fear or out of love.
"Father, I didn't know you're into animals and human body?" Icarus asked as he approached his father. "Did you asked for this?"
"No, but I did asked for plenty of pillows with freshly plucked feathers," Daedalus replied.
"So, this thing you're looking at?" Icarus asked curiously. "We're going to fly with-"
"Yes! Icarus! We will fly with wings!" Daedalus exclaimed. "But you've got to be secretive about this, don't tell anyone."
Icarus looked around as a response to his father's request. There was no one for them to converse with. They're alone.
"Also, Icarus, this portfolio I have here, it was your mother's. It's a memento I have from her before we left." Daedalus explained. "I'm just a dreamer then. I've no care of what's going on around me, I'm from a well of family. And when your mother came. It seemed, she woke me up. She made me want to realize my dream."
Icarus was surprised of the revelation he was hearing. This was the first time his father opened up to him about his mother.
"And that is why I became an inventor." Daedalus continued. "You see, you're mother's genius when it comes to living beings. And she's the one that introduced me to medical and anatomical science. Then I started shaping what she was teaching me. It was all going good for sometime then she introduced me to more things, astronomy, geography, politics and language. But enough about that, we'll see her soon." He smiled.
Icarus was speechless at the moment. He didn't know much about his mother. He probably won't care much whether he see his mother again or not. His only clear memory of her was when they were taken away, him and his father. His mother shoved him away, and in her mother's words: "I don't like you as a son. I don't love you, leave me."
"You've been oddly quiet Icarus? Are you trying to recollect of how wonderful our family once?" Daedalus asked as his eyes went back to his study.
"I-uhh... yes" Icarus stuttered.
"Is something wrong, son?" Daedalus asked.
"It's nothing, father. I'm probably just tired," Icarus answered and smiled.
"Ah, it must the the excitement," Daedalus said. "You should go and get some rest. But before you do, would you mind telling me how does birds fly?"
Icarus paused for a moment trying to form the question. Then answers, "Their wings, they use their wings to fly. They flap it real hard and-"
"Oh! That's true but that is not the entire answer."
The breeze entered calmly through the window of their room. Strong summer winds started to take over the gentle spring time wind.
"I hate summer time," Icarus commented.
"Don't be, our freedom is soon. Remember, it'll be on summer when we leave of this place," Daedalus said. "So, Icarus, do you?"
"Do I what, father?" Icarus asked, smoothly appearing to have not heard the question.
"Do you remember your mother?" Daedalus reiterated.
"Hardly, I suppose." Icarus replied.
"We'll visit her first thing when we get out of here," Daedalus said basking in memories. "Do you know what I'm reading, Icarus?"
"What is it?" Icarus spoke carelessly. He was occupied in his thought of the sky that they will soon leave.
Icarus grew up in the tower. He liked the idea of leaving the place as was his father always wanted to do. But a part of him wanted to stay. He was content inside the tower.
Icarus have accepted King Minos, their captor. He couldn't careless if they were prisoners, they're fed three times daily, all their needs were given and most of their wishes were granted. With the exception of freedom. What more could they want? The scenery of the land is great in their vantage. So why ask for the greener pasture if they already got themselves in a better place?
"Icarus?" Daedalus asked again. He just noticed that his son was preoccupied, staring outside the tower. "I know, son, that you wanted to go outside. I am too. Just have patient. We will get out of here soon."
Icarus smiled at his father. He couldn't speak out what he had in mind. It was either out of fear or out of love.
"Father, I didn't know you're into animals and human body?" Icarus asked as he approached his father. "Did you asked for this?"
"No, but I did asked for plenty of pillows with freshly plucked feathers," Daedalus replied.
"So, this thing you're looking at?" Icarus asked curiously. "We're going to fly with-"
"Yes! Icarus! We will fly with wings!" Daedalus exclaimed. "But you've got to be secretive about this, don't tell anyone."
Icarus looked around as a response to his father's request. There was no one for them to converse with. They're alone.
"Also, Icarus, this portfolio I have here, it was your mother's. It's a memento I have from her before we left." Daedalus explained. "I'm just a dreamer then. I've no care of what's going on around me, I'm from a well of family. And when your mother came. It seemed, she woke me up. She made me want to realize my dream."
Icarus was surprised of the revelation he was hearing. This was the first time his father opened up to him about his mother.
"And that is why I became an inventor." Daedalus continued. "You see, you're mother's genius when it comes to living beings. And she's the one that introduced me to medical and anatomical science. Then I started shaping what she was teaching me. It was all going good for sometime then she introduced me to more things, astronomy, geography, politics and language. But enough about that, we'll see her soon." He smiled.
Icarus was speechless at the moment. He didn't know much about his mother. He probably won't care much whether he see his mother again or not. His only clear memory of her was when they were taken away, him and his father. His mother shoved him away, and in her mother's words: "I don't like you as a son. I don't love you, leave me."
"You've been oddly quiet Icarus? Are you trying to recollect of how wonderful our family once?" Daedalus asked as his eyes went back to his study.
"I-uhh... yes" Icarus stuttered.
"Is something wrong, son?" Daedalus asked.
"It's nothing, father. I'm probably just tired," Icarus answered and smiled.
"Ah, it must the the excitement," Daedalus said. "You should go and get some rest. But before you do, would you mind telling me how does birds fly?"
Icarus paused for a moment trying to form the question. Then answers, "Their wings, they use their wings to fly. They flap it real hard and-"
"Oh! That's true but that is not the entire answer."
Sunday, August 20, 2017
Another random thought: Dedication, commitment.
I wanna talk about this cousin of mine again, the kid I talked about in a previous post. As you can see, I promised him something. It's more like a trade, actually. A bet, to be more precise. The thing is, his grades weren't doing great. I talked to his father about it and he told me that my cousin wasn't stupid, it was just that he wasn't taking his studies seriously.
I admire this father's faith in his son though. Even if all odds are against his son, he still got his son's back. I guess, it's a father thing.
Well, he's a smart kid. He takes prides on the paper ribbons that I never got in my school days. Of the grades that I didn't get. He always asked me, "big brother, did you get highest mark in class? oh you don't? but I do." I shrug it off, doesn't affect me anymore of this hieneous remarks. Sometimes, it does do, I'm just good at shrugging it off. But what his father did said was true, he isn't taking things seriously.
To be fair, scores and marks shouldn't be much a big deal when it comes to studying. All that matters is the experience that you accumulate. Learning is one thing, though, but if you didn't experience a lot of things, then you'd be just someone who'd be calling the diploma as paper fuel for fire and the ribbon as decorated pins... just like me, I guess?
Anyhow, I made a promise to this kid, I'd give him my phone IF and only IF he shows me three new ribbons of the highest top in their class. This, I'm hearing from his parents, he is dedicated in doing.
Earlier this week, I ask his father how my cousin was doing and I was amazed that he was studying and taking things seriously in class now. So much different from the month before.
The dilemma here then is whether his commitment and dedication is focused on himself growing and learning or was it all for the sake of getting my phone?
Either way, I hope I get to save up for a new phone before this kid win.
I admire this father's faith in his son though. Even if all odds are against his son, he still got his son's back. I guess, it's a father thing.
Well, he's a smart kid. He takes prides on the paper ribbons that I never got in my school days. Of the grades that I didn't get. He always asked me, "big brother, did you get highest mark in class? oh you don't? but I do." I shrug it off, doesn't affect me anymore of this hieneous remarks. Sometimes, it does do, I'm just good at shrugging it off. But what his father did said was true, he isn't taking things seriously.
To be fair, scores and marks shouldn't be much a big deal when it comes to studying. All that matters is the experience that you accumulate. Learning is one thing, though, but if you didn't experience a lot of things, then you'd be just someone who'd be calling the diploma as paper fuel for fire and the ribbon as decorated pins... just like me, I guess?
Anyhow, I made a promise to this kid, I'd give him my phone IF and only IF he shows me three new ribbons of the highest top in their class. This, I'm hearing from his parents, he is dedicated in doing.
Earlier this week, I ask his father how my cousin was doing and I was amazed that he was studying and taking things seriously in class now. So much different from the month before.
The dilemma here then is whether his commitment and dedication is focused on himself growing and learning or was it all for the sake of getting my phone?
Either way, I hope I get to save up for a new phone before this kid win.
Saturday, August 19, 2017
Another random conversation: heroes and villains
"Let me ask you this, would you rather be a hero who killed many times or be remembered or known as an evil villain but you save many lives?" G
"I guess, I'd choose to be the one who saved lives" W
"To be the villain, I guess." C
"You'd be remembered as a villain. People will hate you and no one will know of the good deeds you've done. Worst is..." G
"I'd still be the villain. What people talk about me, I don't mind. But I do, that what matters." W
"Let's scale the numbers, alright? Let say, you'd be a hero but you'll kill 100 people and then if you're a villain you'd save just a handful of 10 or 20 people. Will you change your answer?
"I'll still be the villain." W
"Villain" C
"Now tell me... what did our war heroes did? And what our soldiers are doing? Can you tell me?" G
"They did it for their country." W
"It's their duty." C
"Oh, don't you think the enemies aren't doing the same? Don't you think the conquistadors aren't doing it for their country? Don't you think it's their duty as well? The terrorists can be doing it for their religious duty, don't you think? " G
"No, they're still wrong." W
"In our perspective, yes." (What I wanted to say)
"Back to our first question, but this time... let's remove the add-ons. Would you rather be a hero or a villain?" G
"I guess, I'd choose to be the one who saved lives" W
"To be the villain, I guess." C
"You'd be remembered as a villain. People will hate you and no one will know of the good deeds you've done. Worst is..." G
"I'd still be the villain. What people talk about me, I don't mind. But I do, that what matters." W
"Let's scale the numbers, alright? Let say, you'd be a hero but you'll kill 100 people and then if you're a villain you'd save just a handful of 10 or 20 people. Will you change your answer?
"I'll still be the villain." W
"Villain" C
"Now tell me... what did our war heroes did? And what our soldiers are doing? Can you tell me?" G
"They did it for their country." W
"It's their duty." C
"Oh, don't you think the enemies aren't doing the same? Don't you think the conquistadors aren't doing it for their country? Don't you think it's their duty as well? The terrorists can be doing it for their religious duty, don't you think? " G
"No, they're still wrong." W
"In our perspective, yes." (What I wanted to say)
"Back to our first question, but this time... let's remove the add-ons. Would you rather be a hero or a villain?" G
Friday, August 18, 2017
Another random thought: Secret of Songwriting, sort of
Is that the secret to songwriting? Immerse oneself to common things, pick just one main thing and hope that someone or two person will understand it. Well, I guess the last one is just an option, the first two things are what matters most. I think? I don't know, I'm not a songwriter. The music or tone, you decide I guess, which one would satisfy more audience or perhaps to play on ones emotion?
First is: immerse oneself to common thing. This is like having a connection to a character in your favorite story or game. If you have something common, then you'll most likely connect with each other. You'll understand more things about why and what's going on. As for our topic, you'll realize that the song you're hearing is relating to you. Heck, you'll be convinced that the song is all about you, as an audience.
I'd be honest, that last paragraph is pretty jumbled.
How to explain it more than I already did? Let say a song is about a boy courting a girl. Then you find yourself, an audience, in a similar situation, you're also a boy courting a girl. A connection, right? Then the song goes on saying that the boy got rejected but kept trying until he won the girl. Of course, you on the same situation will get motivated or something.
I almost forgot, emphasis on the word "common." If your song is about something uncommon, thing is, you'll won't make a connection to more audience but I guess something will work out, I guess?
Next, picking just one main thing. Straight to the point as that. Do I need to explain it?
A song don't need to cover a lot of thing. One thing is enough, two is too much and three is just too plentiful, I think? Or I got it wrong with this phrase, right? I wonder why? See it like this, if a song has a lot to cover, will one song be enough? Well, a song must only have one chorus, right? And having a common chorus for more a lot of things covered in just one song, perhaps?
I don't know though, I might be wrong, but won't it confuse the audience if the beginning of the song is about the birth or the coming of a baby brother and in that same song you're sing about your dog's death? Heavy metal as fuck.
And the third one, it's not much the singer or the songwriter's initiative to do this but it's shear luck and fortune. As an audience, there will come time when you songs that you'll relate so much that you'll feel like the song is actually singing about you. And when the chorus comes, you'll just feel the hairs and pores of your skin stand. Goose bump. Then perhaps you'll smile but your eyes will just well up and something cold will slither down your cheeks. You're crying. You're happy or something but something isn't right with expression you're showing.
Regarding the tone and style of how the music will be. I don't know, sometimes doing things out of normal is great but only sometimes. I'm musically dull when it comes to instruments. So I'm not much gonna explore this.
Well, what do I know about songwriting, anyway?
------
Just a quick update...
Regarding the main theme of the song.... I guess you can put more than one theme in a song as long as those themes have a common ground. A simile/metaphor thing, so when you write about a dying rose, you could also mean about a dying love or something, depends on your taste.
Or you could also make it a direct opposite of what you want, like the end of the river and a beginning of new hope... but whatever, songs like poetry, the meaning may sometimes differ for the writer and the reader/audience.
Again, I'll repeat what I said, what do I know about songwriting, anyway?
First is: immerse oneself to common thing. This is like having a connection to a character in your favorite story or game. If you have something common, then you'll most likely connect with each other. You'll understand more things about why and what's going on. As for our topic, you'll realize that the song you're hearing is relating to you. Heck, you'll be convinced that the song is all about you, as an audience.
I'd be honest, that last paragraph is pretty jumbled.
How to explain it more than I already did? Let say a song is about a boy courting a girl. Then you find yourself, an audience, in a similar situation, you're also a boy courting a girl. A connection, right? Then the song goes on saying that the boy got rejected but kept trying until he won the girl. Of course, you on the same situation will get motivated or something.
I almost forgot, emphasis on the word "common." If your song is about something uncommon, thing is, you'll won't make a connection to more audience but I guess something will work out, I guess?
Next, picking just one main thing. Straight to the point as that. Do I need to explain it?
A song don't need to cover a lot of thing. One thing is enough, two is too much and three is just too plentiful, I think? Or I got it wrong with this phrase, right? I wonder why? See it like this, if a song has a lot to cover, will one song be enough? Well, a song must only have one chorus, right? And having a common chorus for more a lot of things covered in just one song, perhaps?
I don't know though, I might be wrong, but won't it confuse the audience if the beginning of the song is about the birth or the coming of a baby brother and in that same song you're sing about your dog's death? Heavy metal as fuck.
And the third one, it's not much the singer or the songwriter's initiative to do this but it's shear luck and fortune. As an audience, there will come time when you songs that you'll relate so much that you'll feel like the song is actually singing about you. And when the chorus comes, you'll just feel the hairs and pores of your skin stand. Goose bump. Then perhaps you'll smile but your eyes will just well up and something cold will slither down your cheeks. You're crying. You're happy or something but something isn't right with expression you're showing.
Regarding the tone and style of how the music will be. I don't know, sometimes doing things out of normal is great but only sometimes. I'm musically dull when it comes to instruments. So I'm not much gonna explore this.
Well, what do I know about songwriting, anyway?
------
Just a quick update...
Regarding the main theme of the song.... I guess you can put more than one theme in a song as long as those themes have a common ground. A simile/metaphor thing, so when you write about a dying rose, you could also mean about a dying love or something, depends on your taste.
Or you could also make it a direct opposite of what you want, like the end of the river and a beginning of new hope... but whatever, songs like poetry, the meaning may sometimes differ for the writer and the reader/audience.
Again, I'll repeat what I said, what do I know about songwriting, anyway?
Another random thought: music, language and emotions
To what stretch does language and music meet? To explain, both are in the same dimensions, sound and symbols. Both of which always invokes the mind to think or the emotions to feel. If they do not, then they are boring lectures. To be honest, it has been 30 minutes since I started this post and look where I've got.
I'm not much a fan of boring lecture, more so am I knowledgeable of what I'm about to talk about. So, in a narrative, I'll be the the unreliable narrator for this small prose. I think?
There is this song that is cheerful in tone but melancholic in its lyrics. I find it, weird hearing the song to be light and yet the words are heavy for me to carry my tears. Yes, I cried. I don't know why at first but then it dawned on me, it's regret, I think? But it seems to me, that's one thing that makes that song beautiful, it is cheering on the ear but damn it can make a person cry. It is not normal in my opinion, but then again it isn't original in its style, I think? I am not knowledgeable enough to say that there had been music like this before but I do know this isn't the first time I've across this.
Well, that's the main gist of it. I'm getting sentimental over a joyful song. if you wanna hear it too, here's a link to it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vYV_XRiwbsY
Kudos to Ed Sheeran for this song. Also watch the original music video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7t3Re2VIbHE
Call me stupid, if my conclusion is just common. But nothing's gonna change my mind that this song is a great one.
But that's just half of my beginning intro. What of language? What about it? Is there some kind of prose or poetry that does the same? Answer is, just keep reading, one will find one.
Wait, what was my conclusion again? Given the chance a joyful music can make a person cry. And I guess, given a chance, a sad story can make a person smile. Is that it?
I'm not much a fan of boring lecture, more so am I knowledgeable of what I'm about to talk about. So, in a narrative, I'll be the the unreliable narrator for this small prose. I think?
There is this song that is cheerful in tone but melancholic in its lyrics. I find it, weird hearing the song to be light and yet the words are heavy for me to carry my tears. Yes, I cried. I don't know why at first but then it dawned on me, it's regret, I think? But it seems to me, that's one thing that makes that song beautiful, it is cheering on the ear but damn it can make a person cry. It is not normal in my opinion, but then again it isn't original in its style, I think? I am not knowledgeable enough to say that there had been music like this before but I do know this isn't the first time I've across this.
Well, that's the main gist of it. I'm getting sentimental over a joyful song. if you wanna hear it too, here's a link to it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vYV_XRiwbsY
Kudos to Ed Sheeran for this song. Also watch the original music video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7t3Re2VIbHE
Call me stupid, if my conclusion is just common. But nothing's gonna change my mind that this song is a great one.
But that's just half of my beginning intro. What of language? What about it? Is there some kind of prose or poetry that does the same? Answer is, just keep reading, one will find one.
Wait, what was my conclusion again? Given the chance a joyful music can make a person cry. And I guess, given a chance, a sad story can make a person smile. Is that it?
Thursday, August 17, 2017
Another random thought: hell
Back in my school days, a friend of mine, often jokes about heaven being a not so great of a place. And that hell is better. The famous people, singers, artists (comedians and dramatist) are all in hell. He goes on saying that all that people does in heaven is pray all day long and worship The Creator. I'm not really a big fan of this but in time this grew into me.
I'm not a bad person though, at least in my opinion. I do good, at times (I think). Well, anyway, kindness and goodness, in my believe (that is) is separate from religion. One can be not so religious but still be good (in whatever term). Also, a friend of mine calls himself an agnostic and somehow, same as the other one, it rubbed off on me too.
Another friend of mine also talks of an empty heaven. Or perhaps it was from a book. I don't know. Vague memories. He asked me, is it worth to go to heaven without your friends there? Will I be happy there even if I'm alone?
Oddly enough, it seems hell was surely sugarcoated by my peers back when I was still in school. So weird peer group I immersed myself in.
Anyhow, I stood by my principle of goodness and kindness without religious after I graduated. It sounds hollow but it seems good enough if people doesn't know of your faith. I get by, that's is true. But it seems I'm lying whenever a friend of mine invites me to church. Guess, that's it about.
My perspective of hell changed only recently when I've read Dante's Inferno. It made me scared, somehow, of going there. Scared and sad at the same time. The book did talked of renown names, whom I'm not familiar with, all of them suffering, in pain. and not happy. A complete opposite my peers told me of. There is no happiness there.
Well, I could not say I'm not terrified of the idea of heaven as well, note that I haven't yet read purgatorio and paradiso so perhaps my view will change then. My idea of heaven is still as that, praying and worships of some sort. At least, this is my earthly perspective.
Whatever though, my view of kindness and goodness won't change. Well, at least until something happens... I don't know, perhaps?
I'm not a bad person though, at least in my opinion. I do good, at times (I think). Well, anyway, kindness and goodness, in my believe (that is) is separate from religion. One can be not so religious but still be good (in whatever term). Also, a friend of mine calls himself an agnostic and somehow, same as the other one, it rubbed off on me too.
Another friend of mine also talks of an empty heaven. Or perhaps it was from a book. I don't know. Vague memories. He asked me, is it worth to go to heaven without your friends there? Will I be happy there even if I'm alone?
Oddly enough, it seems hell was surely sugarcoated by my peers back when I was still in school. So weird peer group I immersed myself in.
Anyhow, I stood by my principle of goodness and kindness without religious after I graduated. It sounds hollow but it seems good enough if people doesn't know of your faith. I get by, that's is true. But it seems I'm lying whenever a friend of mine invites me to church. Guess, that's it about.
My perspective of hell changed only recently when I've read Dante's Inferno. It made me scared, somehow, of going there. Scared and sad at the same time. The book did talked of renown names, whom I'm not familiar with, all of them suffering, in pain. and not happy. A complete opposite my peers told me of. There is no happiness there.
Well, I could not say I'm not terrified of the idea of heaven as well, note that I haven't yet read purgatorio and paradiso so perhaps my view will change then. My idea of heaven is still as that, praying and worships of some sort. At least, this is my earthly perspective.
Whatever though, my view of kindness and goodness won't change. Well, at least until something happens... I don't know, perhaps?
A random conversation: super powers
"If you could have one super power, what would it be?" G
"I'd like to fly..." W
"Fly? Why?" G
"So I could go to different places. Heck, with my power, I'd go talk to the president even. I'll tell him more of the problems of the common people. Them on the higher ups are mostly ignorant of the things we face through everyday. And then the laws and shits that's going on. I'd tell him everything." W
"Me, I want to become invisible. Not just invisible, I want to pass through things. Like a ghost. Not dead though. Just like, you know that X-Men character, Shadow Cat? I want to see things that no one else could. I would want to learn of things that no one would want to reveal." C
"A spy?" G
"Something better, I'd go in women bathroom. I'd peep inside there. You know." C
"Or you could be just like a ghost. Become invisible, pass through things then appear and then disappear. Just to scare the hell out of them. Heck, I'd even go into motel rooms of those college students having sex, not to watch them but I'd scare them as hell. That'll just set them straight." W
"Let's say, you could use that power for only a day. What are you going to do?" G
"I'm gonna rake up so much money. Gonna rob some bank. It's for one day, right?" W
"All those ladies" C
"No, no, no. I mean, what if you'll get it for life?" G
"That's a different story. I guess, I'll go travel elsewhere." W
"All those ladies" C
"What about you?" W
"What about me?" G
"You never told us what super power you want to have." C
"Oh! It's time." G
"Time?" W
"Yes, time manipulation. Freeze time, turn back time, fast forward and all sorts." G
"I'd like to fly..." W
"Fly? Why?" G
"So I could go to different places. Heck, with my power, I'd go talk to the president even. I'll tell him more of the problems of the common people. Them on the higher ups are mostly ignorant of the things we face through everyday. And then the laws and shits that's going on. I'd tell him everything." W
"Me, I want to become invisible. Not just invisible, I want to pass through things. Like a ghost. Not dead though. Just like, you know that X-Men character, Shadow Cat? I want to see things that no one else could. I would want to learn of things that no one would want to reveal." C
"A spy?" G
"Something better, I'd go in women bathroom. I'd peep inside there. You know." C
"Or you could be just like a ghost. Become invisible, pass through things then appear and then disappear. Just to scare the hell out of them. Heck, I'd even go into motel rooms of those college students having sex, not to watch them but I'd scare them as hell. That'll just set them straight." W
"Let's say, you could use that power for only a day. What are you going to do?" G
"I'm gonna rake up so much money. Gonna rob some bank. It's for one day, right?" W
"All those ladies" C
"No, no, no. I mean, what if you'll get it for life?" G
"That's a different story. I guess, I'll go travel elsewhere." W
"All those ladies" C
"What about you?" W
"What about me?" G
"You never told us what super power you want to have." C
"Oh! It's time." G
"Time?" W
"Yes, time manipulation. Freeze time, turn back time, fast forward and all sorts." G
Wednesday, August 16, 2017
Daedalus's Awakening: Father and son
"Father! Wake up! Father!"
Daedalus bolt up right, he was on his bed. Covered in sweat, thirsty and not on fire, to his relief. He held his son and hugged him.
"Father, here drink this. Water. It will help you. You were shouting. I don't know what to do. And you're calling out to me, asking me to help you. I tried waking you up, but you keep fidgeting," Icarus helped his father drink.
Daedalus breathed deeply and calmed himself. A breeze of wind suddenly grazed through Daedalus's lips, it was as if the sky had just kissed him.
"Icarus! That's it!" Daedalus exclaimed with glee. "I know how to get us out of here!"
His smile was that of a child when he said these words.
"How, father?" asked Icarus, his voice mixed with both with forced enthusiasm and sorrow. He knew his father is the brightest mind of the era, but he couldn't bear in mind the failure of his father. His father have tried a lot of things to get them out of the tower and he knew how miserable his father has become.
There was a time when Daedalus almost hit him out of rage. But the his rage, then, was immediately extinguished upon seeing his son's eyes. He couldn't bear to see himself angry through the young one's eyes.
Daedalus once more smiled and pointed out at the window. Icarus dumbfounded of his father's smile, paused for a moment before looking at where Daedalus pointed.
"The window?" asked Icarus.
"Yes, through the window. The sky!" Daedalus cried out. "You see, we're going to fly!"
"Fly?" Icarus asked. His face showed dejection upon hearing his father spoke. He wasn't like this. Before, he would immediately believe him. He would welcome what his father says. But now, seeing how things have been. His faith to him have dwindled.
"What's with that face, Icarus? Don't you have faith in your old man anymore?" asked Daedalus. Another breeze came into the window, slithered through Icarus's hair and revealed his whole face. He was bruised on his cheek. "Icarus, what's this? Who did this?"
"I tripped earlier, father. I'm getting a bit clumsy," Icarus lied.
Daedalus bolt up right, he was on his bed. Covered in sweat, thirsty and not on fire, to his relief. He held his son and hugged him.
"Father, here drink this. Water. It will help you. You were shouting. I don't know what to do. And you're calling out to me, asking me to help you. I tried waking you up, but you keep fidgeting," Icarus helped his father drink.
Daedalus breathed deeply and calmed himself. A breeze of wind suddenly grazed through Daedalus's lips, it was as if the sky had just kissed him.
"Icarus! That's it!" Daedalus exclaimed with glee. "I know how to get us out of here!"
His smile was that of a child when he said these words.
"How, father?" asked Icarus, his voice mixed with both with forced enthusiasm and sorrow. He knew his father is the brightest mind of the era, but he couldn't bear in mind the failure of his father. His father have tried a lot of things to get them out of the tower and he knew how miserable his father has become.
There was a time when Daedalus almost hit him out of rage. But the his rage, then, was immediately extinguished upon seeing his son's eyes. He couldn't bear to see himself angry through the young one's eyes.
Daedalus once more smiled and pointed out at the window. Icarus dumbfounded of his father's smile, paused for a moment before looking at where Daedalus pointed.
"The window?" asked Icarus.
"Yes, through the window. The sky!" Daedalus cried out. "You see, we're going to fly!"
"Fly?" Icarus asked. His face showed dejection upon hearing his father spoke. He wasn't like this. Before, he would immediately believe him. He would welcome what his father says. But now, seeing how things have been. His faith to him have dwindled.
"What's with that face, Icarus? Don't you have faith in your old man anymore?" asked Daedalus. Another breeze came into the window, slithered through Icarus's hair and revealed his whole face. He was bruised on his cheek. "Icarus, what's this? Who did this?"
"I tripped earlier, father. I'm getting a bit clumsy," Icarus lied.
Tuesday, August 15, 2017
A dilemma: keeping up
Busy with trivial things... again. First of, I just recently read Dante Alighieri's Inferno. I don't understand much of what's in the book, it's translated by the way. The book talks of Dante's descent to hell with his guide Virgil. I'm amazed that what I thought of the book is. in a way, similar with the game I've played and the animated movie I've watched.
The game and anime, talks of Dante as a mighty warrior who went to ruin. He was killed, in the game, but when the reaper was about to collect his soul, he fought back and then out that his wife Beatrice was taken to hell by Lucifer. In the movie, I don't remember much but I think that's the same beginning. Point is, the main quest of Dante, for both, was to rescue Beatrice from Lucifer. Also, Virgil was portrayed as a weakly spirit and only as a guide.
Aside from being portrayed as a might warrior, Dante's is not free from flaw, in the game and movie that is. Dante's main sin was his unfaithfulness to his wife. As you can see, Dante was part of the crusade, ordained by the pope, to convert unbelievers to Christianity and to "purge" those who interferes with them. Well, not all unbelievers where easily converted so they are either captured, tortured or just killed, only method I saw was through intense torture and starvation.
Dante's unfaithfulness to his wife, this is the one sin that caused all of this trouble anyhow. During one of Dante's expedition, one of the captured unbelievers, a woman, offered herself to Dante just so to have her brother freed. Dante was tempted and that's when shit happened. It's because of a broken vow of somehow which made Beatrice soul cursed and had Lucifer took her. And then Dante travels to hell to get Beatrice back. When they met Beatrice wasn't at first knowledgeable of Dante's betrayal so she still think she was a damsel in distress about to be saved by her knight in shining armor. Then Lucifer revealed Dante's sin to her. And you know what happened. In the end Beatrice finally forgave Dante and Dante defeated Lucifer in the bottom of hell where Lucifer resides.
Please do note, that this description came just from my memory so I might have said something wrong.
It's funny though, since after I read book, similar things are in there but there's a major difference as well. Namely, the portrayal of Dante. In the book, Dante isn't much of a warrior, in the depths of hell that is. Dante was a portrayed as a common man, in his journey, common in a sense that he is normally scared, gets curious at things and needs much guidance. He went to hell, not on his volition but it was said that a fearful beast was following him and it made him lost track of the "right path" and his travel through hell will set him straight. Virgil is different, he is a guide and a brave one, he was there for Dante and sort of like the main force in the entirety of tale.
Well, enough of the Inferno book, the next one I'm planning on reading is the Dante's Purgatorio. Unfortunately, I'm also watching an anime, Assassination Classroom, I sort of semi-binge watched for three days, which made reading a bit hard. The anime is about a classroom with a teacher that an octopus creatures of some sort. The thing about this teacher is it's super powerful and the main objective of the class, besides passing and graduating school, is to kill their teacher. Note the name of the teacher is Koro-sensei, which means "unkillable teacher," this is literally what Koro-sensei is, well until the end of the season two perhaps. I just finished season one though.
The anime begins with Class 3-E, being assigned to kill Koro-sensei. You see, this teacher have somehow chopped out a big portion of the moon. He is virtually unkillable since he moves in speed "Mach 20" and sort of like he could accelerate that fast that everything around him moves slow to a point of near stand still. Well, luckily, he made an agreement of some sort with the government, i think of every country, that he will want to teach Class 3-E of the university (that I can't seem to spell out) and will give the world only until the said class's graduation until he does the same with Earth of what happened to the moon.
The class is then taught to be assassin while also going on with their daily lives as students and hidden trained assassins. All to graduate as well as the main objective of killing their teacher.
What else? Oh, also I'm into a game, and my team is doing fine. Perhaps that's all. Oh and then the daily life problem. I think that's all of it.
The game and anime, talks of Dante as a mighty warrior who went to ruin. He was killed, in the game, but when the reaper was about to collect his soul, he fought back and then out that his wife Beatrice was taken to hell by Lucifer. In the movie, I don't remember much but I think that's the same beginning. Point is, the main quest of Dante, for both, was to rescue Beatrice from Lucifer. Also, Virgil was portrayed as a weakly spirit and only as a guide.
Aside from being portrayed as a might warrior, Dante's is not free from flaw, in the game and movie that is. Dante's main sin was his unfaithfulness to his wife. As you can see, Dante was part of the crusade, ordained by the pope, to convert unbelievers to Christianity and to "purge" those who interferes with them. Well, not all unbelievers where easily converted so they are either captured, tortured or just killed, only method I saw was through intense torture and starvation.
Dante's unfaithfulness to his wife, this is the one sin that caused all of this trouble anyhow. During one of Dante's expedition, one of the captured unbelievers, a woman, offered herself to Dante just so to have her brother freed. Dante was tempted and that's when shit happened. It's because of a broken vow of somehow which made Beatrice soul cursed and had Lucifer took her. And then Dante travels to hell to get Beatrice back. When they met Beatrice wasn't at first knowledgeable of Dante's betrayal so she still think she was a damsel in distress about to be saved by her knight in shining armor. Then Lucifer revealed Dante's sin to her. And you know what happened. In the end Beatrice finally forgave Dante and Dante defeated Lucifer in the bottom of hell where Lucifer resides.
Please do note, that this description came just from my memory so I might have said something wrong.
It's funny though, since after I read book, similar things are in there but there's a major difference as well. Namely, the portrayal of Dante. In the book, Dante isn't much of a warrior, in the depths of hell that is. Dante was a portrayed as a common man, in his journey, common in a sense that he is normally scared, gets curious at things and needs much guidance. He went to hell, not on his volition but it was said that a fearful beast was following him and it made him lost track of the "right path" and his travel through hell will set him straight. Virgil is different, he is a guide and a brave one, he was there for Dante and sort of like the main force in the entirety of tale.
Well, enough of the Inferno book, the next one I'm planning on reading is the Dante's Purgatorio. Unfortunately, I'm also watching an anime, Assassination Classroom, I sort of semi-binge watched for three days, which made reading a bit hard. The anime is about a classroom with a teacher that an octopus creatures of some sort. The thing about this teacher is it's super powerful and the main objective of the class, besides passing and graduating school, is to kill their teacher. Note the name of the teacher is Koro-sensei, which means "unkillable teacher," this is literally what Koro-sensei is, well until the end of the season two perhaps. I just finished season one though.
The anime begins with Class 3-E, being assigned to kill Koro-sensei. You see, this teacher have somehow chopped out a big portion of the moon. He is virtually unkillable since he moves in speed "Mach 20" and sort of like he could accelerate that fast that everything around him moves slow to a point of near stand still. Well, luckily, he made an agreement of some sort with the government, i think of every country, that he will want to teach Class 3-E of the university (that I can't seem to spell out) and will give the world only until the said class's graduation until he does the same with Earth of what happened to the moon.
The class is then taught to be assassin while also going on with their daily lives as students and hidden trained assassins. All to graduate as well as the main objective of killing their teacher.
What else? Oh, also I'm into a game, and my team is doing fine. Perhaps that's all. Oh and then the daily life problem. I think that's all of it.
Monday, August 14, 2017
Daedalus's Dilemma: Freedom and Fire
"Father! Look at me" It was Icarus, with his wings and youth, he gleefully flew across the sky. "Father! Father! Come on! Come on! Let's go!"
"Wait, Icarus! Wait for me." Daedalus shouted.
"Come on, father! The sky awaits us! And so does the lands beyond," Icarus shouted as he shot up to sky.
"Icarus! Heed my advice earlier. Do not go very high," Daedalus, out of breath, shouted as he tried to catch up to his son.
"I know, father," Icarus stopped mid-way to higher sky and dived down.
"No, Icarus! Not to close to the sea!" Daedalus once again shouts but Icarus flies up to safety.
"I was just testing out my wings. Forgive me, father. I won't'do it again," Icarus flew beside his father. With this Daedalus felt at ease.
They had just escaped the tower. Finally, freedom was theirs. No shackles nor prison and certainly no tower can and will cage them. Daedalus will not be bound. And of course, his free spirited son will not be taken as hostage since he will always be with him.
"Father?!" Icarus woke Daedalus in his blissful trance. "Father?!"
"Why? What is it?" Daedalus confused and was still collecting his thoughts. "Can't you leave an old man be on his reverie?"
"But father! Your wings?!" Icarus replied in concerned panic.
"Why? My wings are perfectly fine," Daedalus said confidently.
"No, father! Look! It's on fire?"
"What nonesense? My wings aren't on fire?" Daedalus said irritably. But his temper quickly changed to worry as he realized his wings were really on fire.
"Wait, Icarus! Wait for me." Daedalus shouted.
"Come on, father! The sky awaits us! And so does the lands beyond," Icarus shouted as he shot up to sky.
"Icarus! Heed my advice earlier. Do not go very high," Daedalus, out of breath, shouted as he tried to catch up to his son.
"I know, father," Icarus stopped mid-way to higher sky and dived down.
"No, Icarus! Not to close to the sea!" Daedalus once again shouts but Icarus flies up to safety.
"I was just testing out my wings. Forgive me, father. I won't'do it again," Icarus flew beside his father. With this Daedalus felt at ease.
They had just escaped the tower. Finally, freedom was theirs. No shackles nor prison and certainly no tower can and will cage them. Daedalus will not be bound. And of course, his free spirited son will not be taken as hostage since he will always be with him.
"Father?!" Icarus woke Daedalus in his blissful trance. "Father?!"
"Why? What is it?" Daedalus confused and was still collecting his thoughts. "Can't you leave an old man be on his reverie?"
"But father! Your wings?!" Icarus replied in concerned panic.
"Why? My wings are perfectly fine," Daedalus said confidently.
"No, father! Look! It's on fire?"
"What nonesense? My wings aren't on fire?" Daedalus said irritably. But his temper quickly changed to worry as he realized his wings were really on fire.
Saturday, August 12, 2017
Poems
Turtle
And then my fascination of flight
Lead me to my desires of travel.
Oh! How envious am I to see
Them with wings caress the clouds.
More so my envy brims
When I hear of their tales
Of lands beyond lands.
While here I am,
Home bound and bound to Earth,
With no choice to carry the burden on my back
And my feet with no choice but to carry me
Wherever these restrictive roads may lead.
Rabbit
What of the green bunny,
The one filled with glee, enthusiasm and of himself,?
What happened to him while he
Slumbered away from his unwilling forfeiture?
And what of his dreams while he
Rested beneath a golden oak tree?
Was it all planned to lull the rabbit to sleep?
Did the wind with its rustling voice sung
The hare to sleep in the symphony of leaves?
Did the branches and the clouds conspired
To give the rabbit a moment of bliss
as the rays of the sun dancing in unison
Fell to shade when it touch the hare's fur?
But what of the skirmish?
Of the loss the occurred?
Did it really mattered to the rabbit
Even if the turtle won?
It knew already whom is blessed with agility.
Plan (unfinished)
Or was it all a plot?
A conspiracy?
A predetermined outcome?
A plan...
And then my fascination of flight
Lead me to my desires of travel.
Oh! How envious am I to see
Them with wings caress the clouds.
More so my envy brims
When I hear of their tales
Of lands beyond lands.
While here I am,
Home bound and bound to Earth,
With no choice to carry the burden on my back
And my feet with no choice but to carry me
Wherever these restrictive roads may lead.
Rabbit
What of the green bunny,
The one filled with glee, enthusiasm and of himself,?
What happened to him while he
Slumbered away from his unwilling forfeiture?
And what of his dreams while he
Rested beneath a golden oak tree?
Was it all planned to lull the rabbit to sleep?
Did the wind with its rustling voice sung
The hare to sleep in the symphony of leaves?
Did the branches and the clouds conspired
To give the rabbit a moment of bliss
as the rays of the sun dancing in unison
Fell to shade when it touch the hare's fur?
But what of the skirmish?
Of the loss the occurred?
Did it really mattered to the rabbit
Even if the turtle won?
It knew already whom is blessed with agility.
Plan (unfinished)
Or was it all a plot?
A conspiracy?
A predetermined outcome?
A plan...
Thursday, August 10, 2017
Another random thought: Empty Book Stores
With honesty, I've stopped frequenting the nearest book store in my place or perhaps any bookstore that I know of. A part of me, as an apprentice of literature, has been chipped away just because of that. Anyhow, on to point though. As I was passing by book stores in my area, I noticed that the actual book section of the book store are running empty. I wonder why?
It seems that the book stores have just become a school supplies store, at least in my area, since no one or at least a few are just going to the book section. Now, imagine if you're the store owner, you'd be glad that business is going well even part of the stocks isn't going out of the shelves. Since, the school and office supplies is often packed with patrons. But, imagine this, if the main reason you opened a book store is to sell books, won't that beat the book store's main purpose which is to sell books?
Treat me as a romantic here, but even if you'd say that business is going smoothly, with this financial and economic contemporary hardship and all, but won't you be sad to see your store losing it's main reason of existence?
Now going beyond the owner's mind, what if you're an authors of one of the books in those same stores. What would you feel seeing your masterpiece collecting dust? You'd perhaps be proud at first, not everyone author gets successful and have their books be place on book stores. But would it linger on if you'd notice that the sales of your written book isn't much great or worse, no one bothers to even notice?
Well, perhaps to seasoned and true masters of literary prowess would be proud, will still keep learning and will continue still embarking on their literary escapade. It is a legacy, a part of their story, that at least in once or perhaps lots of times in their lives, that somebody has read their book. That in it, is already a reward.
Though, would you say the same if you're one of those previous authors who have taught many great wonders to others by their writings but later on no one bothers? Perhaps it's will still be same... or not. I don't know, I'm not much a writer, anyway...
It seems that the book stores have just become a school supplies store, at least in my area, since no one or at least a few are just going to the book section. Now, imagine if you're the store owner, you'd be glad that business is going well even part of the stocks isn't going out of the shelves. Since, the school and office supplies is often packed with patrons. But, imagine this, if the main reason you opened a book store is to sell books, won't that beat the book store's main purpose which is to sell books?
Treat me as a romantic here, but even if you'd say that business is going smoothly, with this financial and economic contemporary hardship and all, but won't you be sad to see your store losing it's main reason of existence?
Now going beyond the owner's mind, what if you're an authors of one of the books in those same stores. What would you feel seeing your masterpiece collecting dust? You'd perhaps be proud at first, not everyone author gets successful and have their books be place on book stores. But would it linger on if you'd notice that the sales of your written book isn't much great or worse, no one bothers to even notice?
Well, perhaps to seasoned and true masters of literary prowess would be proud, will still keep learning and will continue still embarking on their literary escapade. It is a legacy, a part of their story, that at least in once or perhaps lots of times in their lives, that somebody has read their book. That in it, is already a reward.
Though, would you say the same if you're one of those previous authors who have taught many great wonders to others by their writings but later on no one bothers? Perhaps it's will still be same... or not. I don't know, I'm not much a writer, anyway...
Wednesday, August 9, 2017
Another random thought: name calling
I prefer calling them by their names, my friends and as well as my co-workers. I add words "sir" and "madame or ma'am" in the beginning of their names as a sign of respect, of either or both age and stature. At times I just add them instinctively I don't know why, I just does. Perhaps that's just how I was raised, to be a respectful to others. Then again, it's more convenient to use a pronoun.
And there are other names that I used to call other people, At least in my circle and for reasons. And sometimes just for a jest. I would call one a girl, though he's a boy. Another time I would call a co-worker boss, because I'm irritated at their bossy attitude. And then there are people, that I'm most infuriated with, I'd call them, or just name them, derogatorily. But I don't bother myself with them. I keep the hate out of my system and that keeps me calm, for the most time that is.
Main point is, respect. I'm a hypocrite when it comes to this though. Sort of, I think. I like to jest around with people but the respect is there. Another thing is, when people outside my circle have no respect with my friends. I know that they have their own friends as well but hearing or seeing my friends getting disrespected boils my blood up. I hate and despise it when my friend is on the low side.
Here's the story though: a co-worker of mine calls a friend of mine with a derogatory name. My friend shrugs it off but I don't like hearing it. Even our shop owner doesn't talk to us like that. I couldn't do or say anything to this co-worker of mine since he's a relative of your shop owner. I already told this to our manager but I was told to ignore it. This co-worker of ours is in good term with most of us but the attitude though I am not fond of.
But whatever, perhaps this co-worker of ours is just like me, a person who likes to jest with people of his own circle. And it's unfortunate we're in it. Perhaps those around me is unfortunate as well. I don't know though. just a random thought.
And there are other names that I used to call other people, At least in my circle and for reasons. And sometimes just for a jest. I would call one a girl, though he's a boy. Another time I would call a co-worker boss, because I'm irritated at their bossy attitude. And then there are people, that I'm most infuriated with, I'd call them, or just name them, derogatorily. But I don't bother myself with them. I keep the hate out of my system and that keeps me calm, for the most time that is.
Main point is, respect. I'm a hypocrite when it comes to this though. Sort of, I think. I like to jest around with people but the respect is there. Another thing is, when people outside my circle have no respect with my friends. I know that they have their own friends as well but hearing or seeing my friends getting disrespected boils my blood up. I hate and despise it when my friend is on the low side.
Here's the story though: a co-worker of mine calls a friend of mine with a derogatory name. My friend shrugs it off but I don't like hearing it. Even our shop owner doesn't talk to us like that. I couldn't do or say anything to this co-worker of mine since he's a relative of your shop owner. I already told this to our manager but I was told to ignore it. This co-worker of ours is in good term with most of us but the attitude though I am not fond of.
But whatever, perhaps this co-worker of ours is just like me, a person who likes to jest with people of his own circle. And it's unfortunate we're in it. Perhaps those around me is unfortunate as well. I don't know though. just a random thought.
Tuesday, August 8, 2017
Another random thought: Cloud Tracing
When I was still an apprentice of literary knowledge, I would often times sit near a window seeing the sky. It's not much of a help to my study. Actually, it is somehow detrimental to me since I would often times wander off in thought gazing to the eternal blue, wasting my precious time for study.
It's funny at times when my mentor finds me inattentive of the discussion, and I would most of the time answer his/her questions incorrectly. It's a wonder that I was never asked what I was looking at, or perchance I was but I couldn't remember. All I know, is that I never told anyone, except for my lil' sis, of what I was looking at. To be fair though, no one, in my class, was much interested of what I was looking at or I was not that interesting at all. I'm pertaining towards the latter since I'm not much interested at myself as well, I think so?
Anyway, what exactly am I wandering off to? Most definite answer is I'm daydreaming. I'm seeing myself with wings flying from one rooftop to another. At times, I turn to a bird migrating with the season flyers off to elsewhere. Well, as you can see, I'm fascinated with the idea of flight and on the other hand, I'm afraid of heights. It's funny how these two polar opposites coincide. Well, I'm not one born with wings, anyway, so that's the root of my fear. Perhaps though every fascination stem from fear. Perhaps I'm wrong.
After my reverie of flying, after traversing each of the rooftops and building thru my mind's eye, I will just get back to the contemporary. As if nothing happened, my professor, talking with either eagerness or dejection and us the apprentices with glee or perhaps just a facade willfully listens and notes to what our mentor is discussing.
Well, that is until I find my eyes, again, looking outside and my hands are noting. It's a simulated lie, perhaps. Of me half listening or not at all and my hands are moving, with the pen of course, across my notes. Perhaps this is the reason why I was ignored much by our professors, I was lying, without me noticing.
Going back to my question, what exactly I was wandering off to? Beside the fascination of flight, there are the clouds. A friend once told me that clouds have very short lifespan, not that they are alive but that they quickly dissipate. Fleeting, ephemeral, temporary, transitory, short-lived... and just add the word "dream" next to it and you'll have a nice word play, I guess?
Anyway, that's just the history of it... what is cloud tracing, gain? Short answer is, it's a sketch of the cloud patterns I see in the sky then I give life into it. That's it. That's dumb. Not exactly though since the clouds fades, I have to move my hand a bit faster, of course, when an artist sketches a pattern, he has to focus his eye into it. And the life given into it is when I give it a different identity other than just a sketched pattern of a cloud. You might just call it looking at clouds and making patterns out of them, which is it, actually.
Well, I don't know. I guess, I just sugar coated it, but either way, given the instances I always do this. It is like meditating during times meditation mustn't be done. Again, sugar coated, wasting of time. But whatever, I felt both free and at own, even though I'm surrounded by people. It felt like the time is own my own. Irregardless of what is around me. Perhaps, that's a reason why my marks and scores weren't that up to par with my class.
---------------------
I just checked, funny is I don't know of these back then when I'm always doing this. And believe me, I've coined this term, Cloud Tracing, on my own. Well, perhaps just coincidence.
http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Cloud_gazing
It's funny at times when my mentor finds me inattentive of the discussion, and I would most of the time answer his/her questions incorrectly. It's a wonder that I was never asked what I was looking at, or perchance I was but I couldn't remember. All I know, is that I never told anyone, except for my lil' sis, of what I was looking at. To be fair though, no one, in my class, was much interested of what I was looking at or I was not that interesting at all. I'm pertaining towards the latter since I'm not much interested at myself as well, I think so?
Anyway, what exactly am I wandering off to? Most definite answer is I'm daydreaming. I'm seeing myself with wings flying from one rooftop to another. At times, I turn to a bird migrating with the season flyers off to elsewhere. Well, as you can see, I'm fascinated with the idea of flight and on the other hand, I'm afraid of heights. It's funny how these two polar opposites coincide. Well, I'm not one born with wings, anyway, so that's the root of my fear. Perhaps though every fascination stem from fear. Perhaps I'm wrong.
After my reverie of flying, after traversing each of the rooftops and building thru my mind's eye, I will just get back to the contemporary. As if nothing happened, my professor, talking with either eagerness or dejection and us the apprentices with glee or perhaps just a facade willfully listens and notes to what our mentor is discussing.
Well, that is until I find my eyes, again, looking outside and my hands are noting. It's a simulated lie, perhaps. Of me half listening or not at all and my hands are moving, with the pen of course, across my notes. Perhaps this is the reason why I was ignored much by our professors, I was lying, without me noticing.
Going back to my question, what exactly I was wandering off to? Beside the fascination of flight, there are the clouds. A friend once told me that clouds have very short lifespan, not that they are alive but that they quickly dissipate. Fleeting, ephemeral, temporary, transitory, short-lived... and just add the word "dream" next to it and you'll have a nice word play, I guess?
Anyway, that's just the history of it... what is cloud tracing, gain? Short answer is, it's a sketch of the cloud patterns I see in the sky then I give life into it. That's it. That's dumb. Not exactly though since the clouds fades, I have to move my hand a bit faster, of course, when an artist sketches a pattern, he has to focus his eye into it. And the life given into it is when I give it a different identity other than just a sketched pattern of a cloud. You might just call it looking at clouds and making patterns out of them, which is it, actually.
Well, I don't know. I guess, I just sugar coated it, but either way, given the instances I always do this. It is like meditating during times meditation mustn't be done. Again, sugar coated, wasting of time. But whatever, I felt both free and at own, even though I'm surrounded by people. It felt like the time is own my own. Irregardless of what is around me. Perhaps, that's a reason why my marks and scores weren't that up to par with my class.
---------------------
I just checked, funny is I don't know of these back then when I'm always doing this. And believe me, I've coined this term, Cloud Tracing, on my own. Well, perhaps just coincidence.
http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Cloud_gazing
Anger
I know it's uncalled for. Suddenly, I just burst out in anger. After what happened, I know I was in the wrong. I wish I didn't just say anything. It's my mistake. I apologized but I know the hurt is already done. I hate myself now...
So basically this is what happened: something so silly happened and I suddenly burst out. It was childish of me, I know. I wish I'm more knowledgeable. Though I know I am, all these lessons and things I've studied and I feel like I've never grown up right. I'm immature when it comes to this and I hate it.
Or perhaps, it was "not in good term" relationship with my mother that stemmed to this. Either way, I know I'm wrong, I shouldn't have done that. It was absolute immature of me, and seems I've lot of learning and understanding to do. I just wish my mother would just forgive me for what I did...
So basically this is what happened: something so silly happened and I suddenly burst out. It was childish of me, I know. I wish I'm more knowledgeable. Though I know I am, all these lessons and things I've studied and I feel like I've never grown up right. I'm immature when it comes to this and I hate it.
Or perhaps, it was "not in good term" relationship with my mother that stemmed to this. Either way, I know I'm wrong, I shouldn't have done that. It was absolute immature of me, and seems I've lot of learning and understanding to do. I just wish my mother would just forgive me for what I did...
Monday, August 7, 2017
Can you not say the same: Have faith, be patient
Well, we're on a bit of a problem. I don't want to disclose much of it but it might cause break our tight family. You could say it's not a "bit of a problem" but a "real problem," whatever. My father would always tell us to have faith. (We're a very religious family, btw, but I guess I'm not) He goes on to say that The Lord will not leave His faithful followers. That The Lord is just testing those who believes in Him. But no harm will truly come in their way. That The Lord is always judging everything that we do BUT will be their when we truly need him. Even though I'm not as faithful as my father, I like having this idea.
My father's most used words, when it comes to us facing a problem, are "Have faith" and "Be patient." These I am not much good at. We do not talk much, my father and I. But when my father speaks of these, it is my mother whom he is conversing with. (These sentences sounds weird)
To me though, I'd like having that idea. It sort of gives one a sense of hope to grasp with. Especially, when I'm, at times, in a brink of tantrum (I'm childish actually). He'd say, in his gentle voice, be patient, have faith, pray, everything will be alright. I like it about him. Perhaps that's the moment when parents are truly shining. When during trying times they stand firm with their resolve and speak gentle about hope. I wish I could be like my father.
I don't know, perhaps it's a bravado, or a facade just to shut me up. But it's something that's pretty much calm me down. I wish I could say the same, but a person like me with just a few faith. I don't think I could say it as well as my father does. I could but there's hollowness in it.
And there's my mother. We're not much in good terms. I would always have an argument with her, a lot of time. I don't know, it just boils my blood up, especially because my father always get's the hurting when she's mad. They aren't fight, I swear, they're just not much in good term as they were before. It saddens me to see them like that.
I was planning on writing a prayer of some sort, but I couldn't. I was trying but I really couldn't. Then one day as I was looking at papers, I saw notes. Notes of prayers, they were all written by mother. I have doubt about it, since between them two, my mother and father, she is the first one to lose hope and faith But there, in my front of my eyes, dozens and dozens of hand written prayer, and just by looks of it, I am very certain that it was my mother who wrote them. I can see the sincerity of each line but I guess, she's couldn't show her faith and hope as much as she'd want to.
I wish I could do something for them. Or something good will bless their days to come. It really saddens me to see where this family is going right now. As I said earlier, I'm not a faithful person. But then again, what's to lose if you'd just believe? (I think I butchered that last line)
My father's most used words, when it comes to us facing a problem, are "Have faith" and "Be patient." These I am not much good at. We do not talk much, my father and I. But when my father speaks of these, it is my mother whom he is conversing with. (These sentences sounds weird)
To me though, I'd like having that idea. It sort of gives one a sense of hope to grasp with. Especially, when I'm, at times, in a brink of tantrum (I'm childish actually). He'd say, in his gentle voice, be patient, have faith, pray, everything will be alright. I like it about him. Perhaps that's the moment when parents are truly shining. When during trying times they stand firm with their resolve and speak gentle about hope. I wish I could be like my father.
I don't know, perhaps it's a bravado, or a facade just to shut me up. But it's something that's pretty much calm me down. I wish I could say the same, but a person like me with just a few faith. I don't think I could say it as well as my father does. I could but there's hollowness in it.
And there's my mother. We're not much in good terms. I would always have an argument with her, a lot of time. I don't know, it just boils my blood up, especially because my father always get's the hurting when she's mad. They aren't fight, I swear, they're just not much in good term as they were before. It saddens me to see them like that.
I was planning on writing a prayer of some sort, but I couldn't. I was trying but I really couldn't. Then one day as I was looking at papers, I saw notes. Notes of prayers, they were all written by mother. I have doubt about it, since between them two, my mother and father, she is the first one to lose hope and faith But there, in my front of my eyes, dozens and dozens of hand written prayer, and just by looks of it, I am very certain that it was my mother who wrote them. I can see the sincerity of each line but I guess, she's couldn't show her faith and hope as much as she'd want to.
I wish I could do something for them. Or something good will bless their days to come. It really saddens me to see where this family is going right now. As I said earlier, I'm not a faithful person. But then again, what's to lose if you'd just believe? (I think I butchered that last line)
Sunday, August 6, 2017
Poem: Is it fair?
Hey, how are you?
Don't you recognize me?
You sure have changed a lot
But that didn't stop me from recognizing you.
I'm your biggest fan.
But is it worth it?
What happened to you?
Your clothes is tattered, ragged and old.
This isn't you.
Or should I say whom you were.
You were the big shot,
The extravagant one,
The most free,
The one with lots of promises,
The one person to climb through it all and triumph.
And your smile, green but not hollowed.
It was the brightest of all,
Far superior than the morning star in every break of dawn.
But was it all a facade?
A lie?
And must we not forget how you were the only one capable of flight?
I know it isn't fair to us.
But to you, is it fair?
Don't you recognize me?
You sure have changed a lot
But that didn't stop me from recognizing you.
I'm your biggest fan.
But is it worth it?
What happened to you?
Your clothes is tattered, ragged and old.
This isn't you.
Or should I say whom you were.
You were the big shot,
The extravagant one,
The most free,
The one with lots of promises,
The one person to climb through it all and triumph.
And your smile, green but not hollowed.
It was the brightest of all,
Far superior than the morning star in every break of dawn.
But was it all a facade?
A lie?
And must we not forget how you were the only one capable of flight?
I know it isn't fair to us.
But to you, is it fair?
Another random thought: regrets
Cue in music: In my mind by Amanda Palmer
Let's see... there's this kid, you could say he's a cousin of mine. He's not much doing great in school. Well, I can see a bit of my self in him. ... A lot of my self in him... So here's a letter (or a post) to you, my former self, well to also my cousin (if he reads this).
Dear ... too formal though. Hello, how are you? If you are reading this I am probably dead... I mean, still here, happy but not content. It's sad though, it seems I'm living a tragedy. Well, most part of it, I humor myself with a bit of comedy. A bit of laugh here and there, but in all honesty, you don't want to be in where I am at.
I'm angry at the most part, rooting from my dissatisfaction of how things are going.Well, reasons are, I'm not in control of what going on with my life. I wish I am though. One other reason is... well, I always like to say that I lose my wings to take flight but yes, my little sister is right, I'm afraid of going out of my comfort zone. I'm afraid. I hate saying it, the truth hurts. So I like to sugar coat it. To make it more like a tragedy, well, here's a fool who's more knowledgeable but afraid. To you, my friend, don't be like me. You'll hate it.
Don't be like me, if you could, change. If you could be the hero, don't just write and dream about it. Be one. Keep that enthusiasm burning, surround yourself with kind and good people and be grateful, don't take advantage of them before it's too late. Be grateful for everything. Keep yourself away from those who are only using you and have no sense of your existence. Be human not only in your sense but in your existence as well. Be understanding. Widen and broaden your empathy. That's the proper word, empathy. But never lose yourself.
Think of yourself from time to time, have yourself a book to read. Immerse yourself with knowledge, keep reading. Don't hate book, one day you'll probably write one and you'll be sad if you think that there are others that hate to read your book. But write anyway, that's your passion. If that isn't, if you've decided to choose a different path, continue and stand high in your league.
I know that YOU KNOW YOUR LIMITS, so what are you doing there? Don't be like me, steel yourself, endure that appetite for useless thing. I know that it's sort of like an addiction but persevere. That itching feeling of wanting to taste the first blood in every game, that every new tactics you see in video, forget about all these, or perhaps just put it into your lowest priority. Go get a book and start dreaming. Trees aren't cut down to be books and left on the top of the bookshelf unopened and collecting dust, they are dreams personified. Open one and immerse yourself in it. Go to other world and learn other things than these not much desirable to your path. I know since I've been there and the path ahead, I am not satisfied.
Be proud but be human. Excel but never forget. Stand high but keep hands at reach for others. Dream but realize them.
These words are nothing to others perhaps but I do hope for some odd just, my former self would understand these. Sad thing is, I feel, while I'm writing this, nothing. That's how pathetic I am right now. But embedded within some of these words, perhaps, there's something.
And again, for one more time, DON'T BE LIKE ME. Grow your wings, and take flight.
Let's see... there's this kid, you could say he's a cousin of mine. He's not much doing great in school. Well, I can see a bit of my self in him. ... A lot of my self in him... So here's a letter (or a post) to you, my former self, well to also my cousin (if he reads this).
Dear ... too formal though. Hello, how are you? If you are reading this I am probably dead... I mean, still here, happy but not content. It's sad though, it seems I'm living a tragedy. Well, most part of it, I humor myself with a bit of comedy. A bit of laugh here and there, but in all honesty, you don't want to be in where I am at.
I'm angry at the most part, rooting from my dissatisfaction of how things are going.Well, reasons are, I'm not in control of what going on with my life. I wish I am though. One other reason is... well, I always like to say that I lose my wings to take flight but yes, my little sister is right, I'm afraid of going out of my comfort zone. I'm afraid. I hate saying it, the truth hurts. So I like to sugar coat it. To make it more like a tragedy, well, here's a fool who's more knowledgeable but afraid. To you, my friend, don't be like me. You'll hate it.
Don't be like me, if you could, change. If you could be the hero, don't just write and dream about it. Be one. Keep that enthusiasm burning, surround yourself with kind and good people and be grateful, don't take advantage of them before it's too late. Be grateful for everything. Keep yourself away from those who are only using you and have no sense of your existence. Be human not only in your sense but in your existence as well. Be understanding. Widen and broaden your empathy. That's the proper word, empathy. But never lose yourself.
Think of yourself from time to time, have yourself a book to read. Immerse yourself with knowledge, keep reading. Don't hate book, one day you'll probably write one and you'll be sad if you think that there are others that hate to read your book. But write anyway, that's your passion. If that isn't, if you've decided to choose a different path, continue and stand high in your league.
I know that YOU KNOW YOUR LIMITS, so what are you doing there? Don't be like me, steel yourself, endure that appetite for useless thing. I know that it's sort of like an addiction but persevere. That itching feeling of wanting to taste the first blood in every game, that every new tactics you see in video, forget about all these, or perhaps just put it into your lowest priority. Go get a book and start dreaming. Trees aren't cut down to be books and left on the top of the bookshelf unopened and collecting dust, they are dreams personified. Open one and immerse yourself in it. Go to other world and learn other things than these not much desirable to your path. I know since I've been there and the path ahead, I am not satisfied.
Be proud but be human. Excel but never forget. Stand high but keep hands at reach for others. Dream but realize them.
These words are nothing to others perhaps but I do hope for some odd just, my former self would understand these. Sad thing is, I feel, while I'm writing this, nothing. That's how pathetic I am right now. But embedded within some of these words, perhaps, there's something.
And again, for one more time, DON'T BE LIKE ME. Grow your wings, and take flight.
Another Random Thought: Cat kills another cat
Well, another week have passed. Too bad I'm not progressing, I'm happy though that I'm writing in a blog again. I used to write back then. Of stories, always grammatically incorrect (I do know I've not yet gotten over it) and misspelled words (which I never bothered to proof read and edit). You'd say I was prolific back then, though, these stories and mostly poems, they're full of life. Heck, I'm laughing how silly I was when I read these yet I'm jealous. I'm no longer able to do them. There's not much subject to write about... You could say I miss having friends.
Why not I write? Well, I'd be wrong if I say I don't have any friends now but, back then it was different. I know for sure people around me doesn't like reading that much. Perhaps that's the price for growing up as adults. They'd have their dreams get taken away and will be too busy for trivial task so as people says.
I wanted to ask a friend of mine recently of something but I didn't bother. They won't understand me. The question is this (please note though the idea was taken from someone else but the question I've thought of, I know it's a cliche of something but whatever): Lions are basically cats, right? Only bigger. Let's say if a lion kills a kitten, we could accept that it's a cat that kills another cat, right? Question is, what if it's the kitten that kills the lion? Can we still say the same, it's a cat that kills another cat? (I know I've butchered something there but that's the whole idea) Anyway, so what's the answer going to be?
Most likely, answers will be no, since the kitten is perhaps a monster hiding a little body of a young cat. And probably those who don't are much will just say, yes, it's still a cat kills another cat.
That'll be an awesome kitten. That'll be a terrifying kitten. I don't want to get near a kitten like that. Those who are in awe of the kitten, bravo to you since you know what to choose for a pet. As for those were scared of the kitten, why? Cause out of the ordinary, no kitten is able to do a feat like that, why? We're, those who were scared, basically stereotyping them. Here we go saying that these aren't normal kitten, they should be lovely and cute things but for them to kill, especially a lion that should be way out of it's league in comparison of size, physical capabilities and whatnot.
Why are we putting down others? (this is the point when things got a bit weird) Why are too easily believe what our eyes perceives and yet when what we see differs from what we believe, we get terrified (or awed)? Somehow this is beyond having faith. It is understanding. Faith is like having a sense of firm trust to something. Understanding, on the other hand, is different, it is a unison of faith and having the sense of consciousness of existence of not only oneself but also of others. One may still disbelieve what one may see but one will clearly understand what happens. If a frog happens to jump a hundred feet high, one would say, "that's neat" or "wow," and then goes on to criticize his own belief . And then at the end of the day, or probably when he'd collected his thoughts, will say, "there are really a lot more of things that I should understand," or something like that.
I might be wrong though but anyway, I don't want to delve much into it. Just a random thought.
Why not I write? Well, I'd be wrong if I say I don't have any friends now but, back then it was different. I know for sure people around me doesn't like reading that much. Perhaps that's the price for growing up as adults. They'd have their dreams get taken away and will be too busy for trivial task so as people says.
I wanted to ask a friend of mine recently of something but I didn't bother. They won't understand me. The question is this (please note though the idea was taken from someone else but the question I've thought of, I know it's a cliche of something but whatever): Lions are basically cats, right? Only bigger. Let's say if a lion kills a kitten, we could accept that it's a cat that kills another cat, right? Question is, what if it's the kitten that kills the lion? Can we still say the same, it's a cat that kills another cat? (I know I've butchered something there but that's the whole idea) Anyway, so what's the answer going to be?
Most likely, answers will be no, since the kitten is perhaps a monster hiding a little body of a young cat. And probably those who don't are much will just say, yes, it's still a cat kills another cat.
That'll be an awesome kitten. That'll be a terrifying kitten. I don't want to get near a kitten like that. Those who are in awe of the kitten, bravo to you since you know what to choose for a pet. As for those were scared of the kitten, why? Cause out of the ordinary, no kitten is able to do a feat like that, why? We're, those who were scared, basically stereotyping them. Here we go saying that these aren't normal kitten, they should be lovely and cute things but for them to kill, especially a lion that should be way out of it's league in comparison of size, physical capabilities and whatnot.
Why are we putting down others? (this is the point when things got a bit weird) Why are too easily believe what our eyes perceives and yet when what we see differs from what we believe, we get terrified (or awed)? Somehow this is beyond having faith. It is understanding. Faith is like having a sense of firm trust to something. Understanding, on the other hand, is different, it is a unison of faith and having the sense of consciousness of existence of not only oneself but also of others. One may still disbelieve what one may see but one will clearly understand what happens. If a frog happens to jump a hundred feet high, one would say, "that's neat" or "wow," and then goes on to criticize his own belief . And then at the end of the day, or probably when he'd collected his thoughts, will say, "there are really a lot more of things that I should understand," or something like that.
I might be wrong though but anyway, I don't want to delve much into it. Just a random thought.
Friday, August 4, 2017
Game Time: Will you Press the Button?
Here's the link to the game: https://willyoupressthebutton.com/
I like how famous Youtubers play this game, so why not I? Well, in my format though, it'll be a blog, instead of a video.
So basically, the main gist of the game is to whether or not you'd push the button for something with a price of course. Most youtuber's I watched always give an explanation to what they answer and oddly enough, even though it's an opinion based question, they (the youtuber's) will decide whether what they did is wrong or right IF the mass agrees with them. I will do as the youtubers do but I will only give my opinion. Well most of the time, hopefully.
Number 1: You will invent something that everyone will remember for the next 500 years BUT nobody remembers that you did it.
It's should be worth it, as a legacy, but it seemed to break the point of having it as a legacy since no one would remember you. But thinking, (I've made a mistake of reading a comment, so perhaps this'll be a biased answer) why not? If it's a good thing, why not?
Number 2: You get to choose 5 shows and their fanbases to wipe off the face of the Earth (I'd erase any show I'd want and anything included) BUT your favorite show is now the most hated show in existence.
Nope
Number 3: You can breath underwater BUT your eyes have to be closed
There's a loophole here though, if I can just close my eyes just for a moment, I could keep my breath and hold on to it. So yeah I could still go exploring the ocean. Though, I'm not much a fan of the sea. Answer is yes.
/Number 4: You can access the internet using your mind BUT Baby by Justin Bieber is playing the entire time used.
A double edge thing. I'm not much a fan of Justine Bieber and certainly I'm not a fan of the song Baby. But that internet power with your mind. Tempting. I guess, I push it. I'd just access the net not as much with my mind except when I use it using a phone or a PC. OH Wait? Does this consequence also affect even if I use the net normally? Now that would be preventive. I change my mind, no.
Number 5: You can perform any sports perfectly and are the most wanted player throughout the world BUT you have one serious sports-related injury a year.
Nope.
Number 6: You can go to any fantasy world you desire and live there BUT you can be killed and your survival in that world depends on your own physical or mental strength.
I'm a weak person, literally/ But perhaps there is hope there. Why not?
Number 7: You become god-like, and can do anything you please with no drawbacks BUT you will live forever, no matter what. Even after humanity dies out.
Superman Prime One Million. Answer is immediately yes.
Number 8: You instantly gain all the knowledge available in any field of study BUT you can never learn anything else past what you know.
I don't get it. you become knowledgeable of all existing studies but what does the consequence mean? You can never learn anything else past what you know? Does it mean I can no longer learn anything new? Oddly enough, if that's the case, I feel a bit sad because I'm gearing toward the yes but I still want to learn something new. I'd go with yes, I guess.
Number 9: You will meet Santa Claus BUT you would never get Christmas Gifts.
This is interesting. It's like saying, you will come to see your plans, goals and dreams come to fruition but you won't gain anything from it. What a sad outcome to happen, but you'd get to see a realization of something. Well, I don't mind Christmas Gift but I'd gladly be a testament to Santa Claus existence. Perhaps, that is the gift itself.
Number 10: Your greatest secret fantasy will come true but you will be forever mute.
That's sad. If the consequence will be a no-tell thing, I'd be happy too but to lose one's voice? Talk about little mermaid... But then again, that's just like saying, "would you give up something, anything, for a dream to come true?" Unfortunately, I don''t think if I can.
Number 11: You have to power to grant any wishes you choose, including your own forever BUT granting any wish results in the immediate death of one person within two miles of you every time.
I could die in the process as well, but if I die, people could use my dead body to wish for something, of course somebody will die as well. Loophole here is to grant myself resurrecting power, of course in a very isolated place and then get back to life and then continue granting myself wishes. But without that though, it's like asking, would you take the risk? Would you jump off a building just you could see what happens? I'm afraid my heart couldn't take it. Oops, I accidentally pushed the button.
Number 12: Marijuana becomes legal BUT the internet becomes illegal.
Nope.
Number 13: Endless banknotes in your wallet BUT never in the currency of the country you are in.
I assume that's money. Well, that's why there is pocket and banks and money converter in countries, right?
Number 14: You can understand and speak with animals BUT you don't understand the human language anymore.
That's sad. It's like saying, you'd understand other beings beside yourself in exchange of sacrificing your understanding of your own kind. It's a tragedy if that were to happen.
Number 15: You gain the ability too read minds BUT everyone you read will grow an extra head.
Making them permanently a mutant. And perhaps making a person a good donor of any cranial part. YES.
Perhaps that's all for now. Hopefully some of these sparked a certain truth about me in your mind's eye.
I like how famous Youtubers play this game, so why not I? Well, in my format though, it'll be a blog, instead of a video.
So basically, the main gist of the game is to whether or not you'd push the button for something with a price of course. Most youtuber's I watched always give an explanation to what they answer and oddly enough, even though it's an opinion based question, they (the youtuber's) will decide whether what they did is wrong or right IF the mass agrees with them. I will do as the youtubers do but I will only give my opinion. Well most of the time, hopefully.
Number 1: You will invent something that everyone will remember for the next 500 years BUT nobody remembers that you did it.
It's should be worth it, as a legacy, but it seemed to break the point of having it as a legacy since no one would remember you. But thinking, (I've made a mistake of reading a comment, so perhaps this'll be a biased answer) why not? If it's a good thing, why not?
Number 2: You get to choose 5 shows and their fanbases to wipe off the face of the Earth (I'd erase any show I'd want and anything included) BUT your favorite show is now the most hated show in existence.
Nope
Number 3: You can breath underwater BUT your eyes have to be closed
There's a loophole here though, if I can just close my eyes just for a moment, I could keep my breath and hold on to it. So yeah I could still go exploring the ocean. Though, I'm not much a fan of the sea. Answer is yes.
/Number 4: You can access the internet using your mind BUT Baby by Justin Bieber is playing the entire time used.
A double edge thing. I'm not much a fan of Justine Bieber and certainly I'm not a fan of the song Baby. But that internet power with your mind. Tempting. I guess, I push it. I'd just access the net not as much with my mind except when I use it using a phone or a PC. OH Wait? Does this consequence also affect even if I use the net normally? Now that would be preventive. I change my mind, no.
Number 5: You can perform any sports perfectly and are the most wanted player throughout the world BUT you have one serious sports-related injury a year.
Nope.
Number 6: You can go to any fantasy world you desire and live there BUT you can be killed and your survival in that world depends on your own physical or mental strength.
I'm a weak person, literally/ But perhaps there is hope there. Why not?
Number 7: You become god-like, and can do anything you please with no drawbacks BUT you will live forever, no matter what. Even after humanity dies out.
Superman Prime One Million. Answer is immediately yes.
Number 8: You instantly gain all the knowledge available in any field of study BUT you can never learn anything else past what you know.
I don't get it. you become knowledgeable of all existing studies but what does the consequence mean? You can never learn anything else past what you know? Does it mean I can no longer learn anything new? Oddly enough, if that's the case, I feel a bit sad because I'm gearing toward the yes but I still want to learn something new. I'd go with yes, I guess.
Number 9: You will meet Santa Claus BUT you would never get Christmas Gifts.
This is interesting. It's like saying, you will come to see your plans, goals and dreams come to fruition but you won't gain anything from it. What a sad outcome to happen, but you'd get to see a realization of something. Well, I don't mind Christmas Gift but I'd gladly be a testament to Santa Claus existence. Perhaps, that is the gift itself.
Number 10: Your greatest secret fantasy will come true but you will be forever mute.
That's sad. If the consequence will be a no-tell thing, I'd be happy too but to lose one's voice? Talk about little mermaid... But then again, that's just like saying, "would you give up something, anything, for a dream to come true?" Unfortunately, I don''t think if I can.
Number 11: You have to power to grant any wishes you choose, including your own forever BUT granting any wish results in the immediate death of one person within two miles of you every time.
I could die in the process as well, but if I die, people could use my dead body to wish for something, of course somebody will die as well. Loophole here is to grant myself resurrecting power, of course in a very isolated place and then get back to life and then continue granting myself wishes. But without that though, it's like asking, would you take the risk? Would you jump off a building just you could see what happens? I'm afraid my heart couldn't take it. Oops, I accidentally pushed the button.
Number 12: Marijuana becomes legal BUT the internet becomes illegal.
Nope.
Number 13: Endless banknotes in your wallet BUT never in the currency of the country you are in.
I assume that's money. Well, that's why there is pocket and banks and money converter in countries, right?
Number 14: You can understand and speak with animals BUT you don't understand the human language anymore.
That's sad. It's like saying, you'd understand other beings beside yourself in exchange of sacrificing your understanding of your own kind. It's a tragedy if that were to happen.
Number 15: You gain the ability too read minds BUT everyone you read will grow an extra head.
Making them permanently a mutant. And perhaps making a person a good donor of any cranial part. YES.
Perhaps that's all for now. Hopefully some of these sparked a certain truth about me in your mind's eye.
Thursday, August 3, 2017
Can you not say the same: A hero comes
"Everything is alright now, because I am here." - All Might, Boku no Hero Academia
Somehow, it gets me to tears, perhaps it's the childhood dream that's in me that crying. I dreamt of one day becoming a hero as well. I'll be the greatest of them all, and when the world needs me, I'd like to say this. I never thought of this, but these words, it symbolizes lots of thing. But one thing for sure, it surpasses hope, it is dream.
I would like to say much of the anime but I won't say I'm a fan. I only watched it since a friend of mine insisted me to watch it. And I did and somehow, my inner childhood dream of heroism suddenly woke. It's funny since, my dream of heroism, or rather my dreams from my childhood to how old I am now have changed, always have been.
But for now, let's talk about the phrase. First of, who is All Might?
(I will be talking in a light enthusiasm since I am not a fan but a fan of All Might's heroism. And perhaps of the main character, Midoriyama as well. Light enthusiasm in a sense that I won't be delving much into the anime or manga lore but only to a casual reader perspective... casual or perhaps just... you get the idea.)
(Also to fans of the anime, I apologize if butcher my description of All Might)
All Might is the name of the most revered hero of the anime. He is super strong and his mental fortitude is geared always toward heroism. Think of Incredible Hulk's superhuman capabilities and Captain America's heroic stance. And no he doesn't go berserk. His favorite motto perhaps, other than the phrase stated is, "Go beyond plus ultra." This, I'm not much fond as the first, but you could say it's a paraphrase of "Go beyond limits."
Let's go back to the phrase, "Everything is alright now, because I am here."
(So from here on I will be talking about personal stuffs or perhaps not... just opinions? I guess.)
If you're a child, you would perhaps more be enthusiastic of the line: "Go beyond plus ultra," since it's a jumbled of great words as well as it is catchy. But perhaps if you've grown up but still a child at heart, you would still be enthusiastic about that same line. But perhaps in your broadened understanding, it is the other phrase that will get much into your emotion.
Perhaps, I am feeling a bit hopeless these past few months. I feel like lose or something. It's not that I'm questioning myself what's the point of me waking up every morning I wake up. I don't. It's that what's the point of all these? To be honest, I was never really much successful in life, not yet, I hope. But I never am. And it seems I have failed a lot of those who believed in me back then. Back then when I was still a dreamer, a person full of passion and enthusiasm. A person of grit, who wouldn't give up no matter what, but as I've said, things change. Even dreams.
Those words though spark an inner childhood dream of mine, something which I've long forgotten since. For now, I dream of writing, of entertaining, of educating and of inspiring those who'd read my short burst of random ideas that perhaps most of the time doesn't even make sense or perhaps are boring. But either way, it spark of a dream of heroism. I would just barge in to a place and be one to save the day. And everyone will be inspired. I won't be needing any kind of help since I am all that is needed. Hence, "Eveything is going to be alright." In all honesty, I want to be like that. All cool and all powerful, hence, (again) All Might.
Or perhaps I just want to be saved. To be saved from this hopeless state I'm stuck in. I'm not in prison or anything, it's just.. I want to be saved. Self-pity, perhaps... but I don't know. Aren't all heroes like that? At some point or just some of them? They want to save themselves so they in turn save other. They want to help themselves and for them to do so, they end up helping other. I may be wrong and perhaps where this is going is pretty much nowhere.
I cannot say the same as All Might.. I'm not much good at anything. All I'm good at is dreaming. Yes, it's envy. But that can't stop a person from dreaming? Especially, the inner child within them.
To be fair though, these two phrases incites two different thing. The second one is about breaking limits and improving oneself. A good moral for a superhero story. And the first one is of hope. That's the short end of it, though.
Somehow, it gets me to tears, perhaps it's the childhood dream that's in me that crying. I dreamt of one day becoming a hero as well. I'll be the greatest of them all, and when the world needs me, I'd like to say this. I never thought of this, but these words, it symbolizes lots of thing. But one thing for sure, it surpasses hope, it is dream.
I would like to say much of the anime but I won't say I'm a fan. I only watched it since a friend of mine insisted me to watch it. And I did and somehow, my inner childhood dream of heroism suddenly woke. It's funny since, my dream of heroism, or rather my dreams from my childhood to how old I am now have changed, always have been.
But for now, let's talk about the phrase. First of, who is All Might?
(I will be talking in a light enthusiasm since I am not a fan but a fan of All Might's heroism. And perhaps of the main character, Midoriyama as well. Light enthusiasm in a sense that I won't be delving much into the anime or manga lore but only to a casual reader perspective... casual or perhaps just... you get the idea.)
(Also to fans of the anime, I apologize if butcher my description of All Might)
All Might is the name of the most revered hero of the anime. He is super strong and his mental fortitude is geared always toward heroism. Think of Incredible Hulk's superhuman capabilities and Captain America's heroic stance. And no he doesn't go berserk. His favorite motto perhaps, other than the phrase stated is, "Go beyond plus ultra." This, I'm not much fond as the first, but you could say it's a paraphrase of "Go beyond limits."
Let's go back to the phrase, "Everything is alright now, because I am here."
(So from here on I will be talking about personal stuffs or perhaps not... just opinions? I guess.)
If you're a child, you would perhaps more be enthusiastic of the line: "Go beyond plus ultra," since it's a jumbled of great words as well as it is catchy. But perhaps if you've grown up but still a child at heart, you would still be enthusiastic about that same line. But perhaps in your broadened understanding, it is the other phrase that will get much into your emotion.
Perhaps, I am feeling a bit hopeless these past few months. I feel like lose or something. It's not that I'm questioning myself what's the point of me waking up every morning I wake up. I don't. It's that what's the point of all these? To be honest, I was never really much successful in life, not yet, I hope. But I never am. And it seems I have failed a lot of those who believed in me back then. Back then when I was still a dreamer, a person full of passion and enthusiasm. A person of grit, who wouldn't give up no matter what, but as I've said, things change. Even dreams.
Those words though spark an inner childhood dream of mine, something which I've long forgotten since. For now, I dream of writing, of entertaining, of educating and of inspiring those who'd read my short burst of random ideas that perhaps most of the time doesn't even make sense or perhaps are boring. But either way, it spark of a dream of heroism. I would just barge in to a place and be one to save the day. And everyone will be inspired. I won't be needing any kind of help since I am all that is needed. Hence, "Eveything is going to be alright." In all honesty, I want to be like that. All cool and all powerful, hence, (again) All Might.
Or perhaps I just want to be saved. To be saved from this hopeless state I'm stuck in. I'm not in prison or anything, it's just.. I want to be saved. Self-pity, perhaps... but I don't know. Aren't all heroes like that? At some point or just some of them? They want to save themselves so they in turn save other. They want to help themselves and for them to do so, they end up helping other. I may be wrong and perhaps where this is going is pretty much nowhere.
I cannot say the same as All Might.. I'm not much good at anything. All I'm good at is dreaming. Yes, it's envy. But that can't stop a person from dreaming? Especially, the inner child within them.
To be fair though, these two phrases incites two different thing. The second one is about breaking limits and improving oneself. A good moral for a superhero story. And the first one is of hope. That's the short end of it, though.
Wednesday, August 2, 2017
A random thoughts: Hard at writing
I've been in hiatus of writing and seems now I could hardly write. Perhaps one of the setback for not practicing the art that I've studied in. To be fair though, I'm not really a good writer. I just like to write. Or should I say, used to like writing, because now, it no longer comes first in mind whenever a good subject matter arise.
To sugar coat it though, this I prefer. I read in the book of the great author, Paulo Coelho, Warrior of the Light: "Without love, the warrior is nothing." And right now, well perhaps for quite a long time, I hardly feel it. But what is this love? Perhaps I'm no longer into writing anymore. Yet, I am certain that I am.
The vivid dreams that I'd see, feel and to have existed in, all of them makes me alive. I wanted to tell it to other and yet words which to describe them, that I am used to using, doesn't apply. Yes, I know that I need to read more, but that doesn't justify the passion I had then when it comes to writing.
Perhaps I've grown up and the me of the past, the kid full of enthusiasm of writing everything, of recording things unimaginable, from the silliest to the greatest, have all disintegrated, have washed up or like an oasis in the middle of the desert, have dried up. Do oases even dries up?
What were my dreams back then when I was studying the art of words? Was it to inspire? Perhaps. Wasn't it a very common dream? Well, yes but it sure damn is nice to have a dream as that. What else were my dreams back then? Funny, I could hardly remember.
I enjoyed those time though, the times when I was still learning things. I'm not yet done learning with the arts of words. I still enjoy understand new and new things but... the practice of this study have right now left me. I could write no more. Again I will return to that phrase: "Without love, the warrior is nothing." Am I a warrior to begin with?
It's funny that if in case a past self of mine would feel how I'd feel, I would certainly breakdown. But now, I feel numb of it. The empathy I feel for the art of words have now turn to apathy. I know I hate it but I feel numb about it. I seemed to have failed my mentors, well, I don't know if they're truly aspiring me to be great at the endeavors I chose.
To be on point, though, with the probable problems I'm facing: I have lost that drive that pumps in my writers vein to keep writing. Yet the pulse in my dreamers heart is still beating. And it is true, the dreams I have every time I sleep are becoming more and more vivid. My sleeps feels longer though most of the time they're short. I'm happy with it, but not much complete. I want to write, I want to share it with other and I really want other to see, feel and perhaps exist in the same dream that I tell them. I just wish that I could still write.
If you'd ask me why I not just write... to answer that: I'm having a hard time writing. I... ...
If I think more of it, it's funny that I can't put it into words. Perhaps hesitation or perhaps something else. I know what it is only I can't put it to words... Why I'm hesitating? I don't know.
Really really out of the blue: Hey!! I like that sentence I just wrote, "I have lost that drive that pumps in my writers vein to keep writing. Yet the pulse in my dreamers heart is still beating."
Well, whatever it is I still want to write. As the old saying goes, "Try again." This I don't know who said but I like it.
To sugar coat it though, this I prefer. I read in the book of the great author, Paulo Coelho, Warrior of the Light: "Without love, the warrior is nothing." And right now, well perhaps for quite a long time, I hardly feel it. But what is this love? Perhaps I'm no longer into writing anymore. Yet, I am certain that I am.
The vivid dreams that I'd see, feel and to have existed in, all of them makes me alive. I wanted to tell it to other and yet words which to describe them, that I am used to using, doesn't apply. Yes, I know that I need to read more, but that doesn't justify the passion I had then when it comes to writing.
Perhaps I've grown up and the me of the past, the kid full of enthusiasm of writing everything, of recording things unimaginable, from the silliest to the greatest, have all disintegrated, have washed up or like an oasis in the middle of the desert, have dried up. Do oases even dries up?
What were my dreams back then when I was studying the art of words? Was it to inspire? Perhaps. Wasn't it a very common dream? Well, yes but it sure damn is nice to have a dream as that. What else were my dreams back then? Funny, I could hardly remember.
I enjoyed those time though, the times when I was still learning things. I'm not yet done learning with the arts of words. I still enjoy understand new and new things but... the practice of this study have right now left me. I could write no more. Again I will return to that phrase: "Without love, the warrior is nothing." Am I a warrior to begin with?
It's funny that if in case a past self of mine would feel how I'd feel, I would certainly breakdown. But now, I feel numb of it. The empathy I feel for the art of words have now turn to apathy. I know I hate it but I feel numb about it. I seemed to have failed my mentors, well, I don't know if they're truly aspiring me to be great at the endeavors I chose.
To be on point, though, with the probable problems I'm facing: I have lost that drive that pumps in my writers vein to keep writing. Yet the pulse in my dreamers heart is still beating. And it is true, the dreams I have every time I sleep are becoming more and more vivid. My sleeps feels longer though most of the time they're short. I'm happy with it, but not much complete. I want to write, I want to share it with other and I really want other to see, feel and perhaps exist in the same dream that I tell them. I just wish that I could still write.
If you'd ask me why I not just write... to answer that: I'm having a hard time writing. I... ...
If I think more of it, it's funny that I can't put it into words. Perhaps hesitation or perhaps something else. I know what it is only I can't put it to words... Why I'm hesitating? I don't know.
Really really out of the blue: Hey!! I like that sentence I just wrote, "I have lost that drive that pumps in my writers vein to keep writing. Yet the pulse in my dreamers heart is still beating."
Well, whatever it is I still want to write. As the old saying goes, "Try again." This I don't know who said but I like it.
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